3-D porn: Coming at you soon

Just yesterday I was talking about how Hollywood was on the verge of a new money gobbling trend, 3-D movies. I spoke about how the extra money that a 3-D movie brings in is too lucrative for movie studios to ignore. But there was something I forgot about.

The porn industry.

Yes, the one industry that outsells Hollywood every year. An industry with more winning films and higher audience count that Avatar will likely ever get to. The only industry that makes billions in profit, yet amazingly no one has ever seen or bought.

Well even in porn the bottom line is money. How to get more bang from an audience. How to plunge into a pocket and pull off a quick money grab. The latest answer is , 3-D.

Tinto Brass, a director best known for the 1979 film Caligula, has announced that he will make the first ever 3-D porn film. The film will deal with Romans and Americans, ever so original an idea. And you won't have to wait too long, he plans to start filming in May or June.

If this porn film gets made, and makes a profit of any amount, it will confirm the new trend. Porn always sets standards for Hollywood. The move from Beta to VHS, porn made the decision Hollywood followed. The move to DVD's, exactly the same. Ditto online movies. No one may want to speak about it, but porn is the Warren Buffett of the entertainment industry. When they make a move, the industry generally follows quickly.

So my guess about 3-D becoming the new craze in movies is even more likely than I first thought. But the concept of a 3-D porn kind of scares me. Don't think on it to hard, but there are many things I can imagine I don't want poking at my eyes. Yet, I am sure, this will make tons of money.

It's a scary world out there.

The answer for movies - 3-D

In an economy that sucks for everyone, how can movie studios make the most bang for their buck? That is the question plaguing Hollywood as the recession continues.

One option that has been popular is to make revisioned movies. Just take a successful film (or television show) and redo it. The name alone will draw in fans, and if you throw out the original premise you can add lots of sex scenes, explosions, and/or anything else to draw a younger audience that has no idea what the movie should be about or why it was popular originally.

This business model has brought us great films like Land of the Lost, Dukes of Hazzard, and the Halloween remakes. Yes, they all were flops to varying degrees. But because many are so cost effective there will be even more of them - Nightmare on Elm Street may well be next on that list.

Still Hollywood is not happy (of course neither are movie audiences, if that matters). They want more money. They need blockbuster films. So what do you do?

Yet another idea has ben conversion films. If it's been in a book or comic book it needs to be a movie. That's been the trend for a long time in Hollywood, but right now it's hot. So hot that all the biggest books and comic books have been used up. X-Men is done, Spiderman is used up, Iron Man is still going so far, Lord of the Rings is almost finished and Harry Potter is down to the final book. Say it isn't so.

It isn't.

The X-Men are being used to make spin-offs (so far of low quality). Spiderman is being revised as we speak to start over for a new young generation. Harry Potter is being drawn out to fill 2 films just to make a bigger payday.

Then there are the lesser ideas. The Avengers film, Thor, Green Lantern, Twillight, and a host of other 2nd rate conversions are set to flood theaters. Because a trend is only as good as the money you can pull from it.

But that still doesn't generate real money. The money that creates secure jobs in Hollywood. Which leaves the latest scam. 3-D.

Avatar has made more money than anything. Even Titanic was sunk by this blue alien hype. All because of the 3-D technique. Because it adds $3 per ticket to see. And that's a gimmick you know Hollywood can't let go. Thus the start of the latest trend is beginning. The word is that the Harry Potter films will be in 3-D too. And since that will be a success, you know there will be more. Maybe Iron Man 3-D, or Twillight 3-D. and on and on.

The thing is that none of this is real. These films are mostly doing big numbers because of the cost of tickets, not viewers. Tickets cost $9 now in many places, as opposed to less than $5 some 20 years ago. So the same number of people going to see Seargent York in 1941 ($16 million at the time) equals a collossal failure for a film like Tooth Fairy ($14 million last week) or Jennifer's Body ($16 million in 2009). Except that isn't true.

Seargent York, adjusted for inflation is worth $358 million. The 69 year old film is the 97th higest rated film ever. Because it was good.

In fact the best films, in adjusted for inflation dollars, don't include a single film since 2000 before 26th place. And that is Avatar. In other words, 25 films made without 3-D, most without any form of CGI, made significantly more money. Because they didn't need gimmicks. They were good movies.

The top 5 films are all 28 or more years old. If Hollywood wants to make big money, maybe they want to make quality films that have great storylines and solid actors? But that takes work.

So enjoy the 3-D craze that is sure to follow Avatar. Because Hollywood just wants your money.