Movie Preview: Prince of Persia Sands of Time

Well after being rumored and discussed by gamers for years, Prince of Persia has finally made the conversion to the big screen - no gaming system required. Yes another in the growing line of video game to movie conversions is coming for the 2010 movie season.

What we can tell from the trailer immediately is that much of the violence and gore that the game is known for will not be in the movie. That's because this is a Disney film and will likely be targeted to the pg-13 rating target market. So that takes away from the story - if in fact the movie will follow the well executed script of the video game at all.

Beyond that revelation the big question is if this will be done well. Will it be some kiddie action flick pr something that adults and 20-something fans can really get into. Pirates of the Caribbean proved that a conversion film could do both. But there is no shortage of films that squander the source materials following and rich content. (think of Silent Hill, or more recently Resident Evil: Extinction)

The visuals of the film look big. Very expansive and rich in detail. There is no fear of CGI in this film. And some of the scenes look like the use of CGI plays out well. Though overuse of CGI tends to give me a feeling that a film is more cartoony than anything else.

We can also see that some of the gameplay elements of Prince of Persia is in the movie. The question with that is if these elements are just incidental items that work best in a trailer, or if they are integral to the movie itself. Generally in a conversion movie the answeer is more the former than latter.

Perhaps the one thing that really bugs me is none of the above. It's the star Jake Gyllnehaal. He is matched up with Ben Kingsley who is a far superior actor (Bloodrayne excepted) and thus may not fare well in scenes with the 2 together. Add to that the fact that I don't see Gyllenhaal as a Persian. He does not seem to have those qualities to me. Which makes sense since he is of Swedish decent. It may not be a big thing to some fans, but its a bit of a distraction seeing a Swede in Arabia as the main hero to me.

But if geography, and the expectation of seeing native populations in their homelands, is not something you ever pay attention to then the film should move along well. My guess is that the film's plot will be about as engaging as Conan the Barbarian was. Not a great film, but good enough to watch without much complaint. Nor will you be bothered with remembering much of what the film was about 5 minutes after watching it.

None of this will stop the film from making at least $250 million worldwide. Much of that (maybe 35%) will come in the first weekend as fans of the video game, Gyllenhaal, action fans, and those interested in Gemma Arterton (probably best known for her role as Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace and soon to be seen again in the Clash of the Titans revisioning). After that weekend, I think the hype will be over and the buzz will reveal that this is an ok film but not much more.

So there you go. One of the first films of the 2010 summer blockbuster season.

The Razzie Award nominations are out

Ah, what is January without the annual Razzie Award nominations. Not that 2008 was a year lacking actors, actresses, and films aplenty for the nominations. In fact I’m sure the judges had quite the time trying to narrow the field.

But the Razzies generally pick the top of the worst of any given year. And unlike the Oscars, the film nominated here you have definitely heard of, and sadly might have seen. Such is the shame of Hollywood year after year.

For 2009 we have the following, with my comments included:

Worst Picture:

Disaster Movie
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Meet the Spartans
The Happening - boring
The Hottie & the Nottie – any movie that would have Paris Hilton in it should automatically be nominated, if not win.
**Why is The Day The Earth Stood Still not in this?**

Worst Actor

Mike Myers - The Love Guru
Eddie Murphy - Meet Dave - What is wrong with Murphy these days. He can be so much better than this.
Al Pacino - 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
Mark Wahlberg - The Happening and Max Payne - Neither film was worth the money
Larry the Cable Guy - Witless Protection - How he cannot win I can’t imagine.
**I know everyone seems to disagree, because he is dead, but Heath Ledger’s Joker sucked.**
***And Keanu Reeves deserves to be in this group more than Wahlberg does, for his work in The Day The Earth Stood Still***

Worst Actress

Jessica Alba - The Love Guru and The Eye - She is just really bad.
Cameron Diaz - What Happens in Vegas - Embarrassing
Paris Hilton - The Hottie & the Nottie - The must win choice. The other ladies may have tried but they all have far more talent in their sleep than Hilton at her best (if such a moment exists).
Kate Hudson - Fool's Gold and My Best Friend's Girl
The Entire Cast of "The Women" - Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan.

Worst Supporting Actor

Uwe Boll, Postal
Pierce Brosnan - Mamma Mia! - How far we have fallen since The Matador and Bond.
Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru, War, Inc., The Wackness - I like him, but War, Inc. just puts him over the top in this one.
Burt Reynolds, Deal and In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Postal.

Worst Supporting Actress

Carmen Electra - Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans - Hey, be nice she can’t do better.
Paris Hilton - Repo! The Genetic Opera; - Yet another film proving that were it not for money she would have nothing to justify her life
Kim Kardashian - Disaster Movie
Jenny Mccarthy, Witless Protection; - She deserves it just for appearing in the film
Leelee Sobieski - 88 Minutes, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Worst Screen Couple

Uwe Boll and Any Actor, Camera and Screenplay
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens In Vegas - The only words I have are, I understand why they got a Razzie
Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Jorel David Moore, The Hottie And The Nottie - Again the queen of too much money and no talent stands out.
Larry The Cable Guy and Jenny Mccarthy, Witless Protection; - Giving Paris Hilton the only kind of competition she deserves.
Eddie Murphy In Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave. – Not really a couple now is it?

Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake Or Rip-Off

The Day The Earth Stood Still - Horrendous remake, the writer should be slapped.
Disaster Movie
Meet The Spartans
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Speed Racer - Someone was on drugs when they filmed this. Give me the original cartoon anytime.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - George Lucas can’t need the money that bad, can he?
**Max Payne fits this category, as it is a ripoff of the video game. And a bad ripoff at that.**
***Again in the ripoff, a film that stole from at least 3 other films - Doomsday. If you missed it, be happy.***

Worst Director

Uwe Boll - Tunnel Rats, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale And Postal
Jason Friedberg And Aaron Seltzer - Disaster Movie And Meet The Spartans - And anyone expected better in these ripoff ideas?
Tom Putnam - The Hottie And The Nottie - Paris Hilton, do I need to say anything more?
Marco Schnabel - The Love Guru
M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening. – The best film to put you to sleep.

Worst Screenplay

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer - Disaster Movie And Meet The Spartans - The obvious favorites to win.
M. Night Shyamalan - The Happening
Heidi Ferrer - The Hottie And The Nottie
Doug Taylor - In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Mike Myers and Graham Gordy, The Love Guru
**Actually I don’t understand how The Day The Earth Stood Still missed this category**

Worst Career Achievement

Uwe Boll - "Germany's answer to Ed Wood" - Ed Wood was funny at least.

Such are my thoughts of the films worth of Razzie’s in 2008. Perhaps you know of a film that deserved to be on this list? Let me know because no one should need to own a DVD of films of this quality. Even if you need a Frisbee in an emergency.

Oh and here is an early prediction for 2009, Notorious will top a few of the categories here.

The Expendables - 2010 movie

Now here is a concept that I am looking forward to seeing trailers for. A movie with action as its complete drive. Plot be damned, this will be fast-paced and sure to provide a pounding.

The Expendables is a film featuring Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, and Dolph Lungdren. With just that part of the cast you might think this is a return to the action movies of the 1980's. Which is not an entirely bad thing. But hold on.

Add to this group of oldies but goodies Jet Li and Jason Statham. And for a bit of dramatic flair there is also Ben Kingsley and Forest Whitaker. Now that is a cast of standing. You can stage a film about almost anything with this group of actors.

This film will focus on mercenaries that are hired to take down a South American dictator (might he have a last name sounding like Chavez?). It doesn't need to get much deeper than that.

Likely good guys are Statham, Li, and Stallone. Probable bad guys are Rourke, Lungdren, and Kingsley.

While I don't expect this to be an Oscar winner, I do expect massive amounts of explosions and kicking ass. There will be big guns a plenty. So if you enjoy art house films this will not be for you most likely.

One thing I would really enjoy in the film would be a fight scene between Li and Statham. I am sure the film has to have that, if only for a few minutes. That would be a great action sequence. That will make the film for sure.

There is no video yet, but be confident that once there is I will be getting it out to you all. Expect this in 2010.

Movie review: War, Inc

How might I describe the film War, Inc.? Well considering the film is a mash of liberals are great, big business is bad, America is all the evil in the world clichés I’ll try to describe it in that vain.

In terms of a green film (I’m sure someone will coin that phrase any day now) it fails miserably. From the abundance of HUMVEE vehicles used and blown up, to jets the film wastes more energy and leave a bigger carbon footprint than a mid-sized city. If we look at it from an anti-religion aspect, it makes marriage and Muslims look like fools.

Politically, which is the point of the film, every conservative ever to grace a movie or television seems to be used as a prop of corporate greed. And quite a few Presidents (though Abraham Lincoln – a Republican – amazingly was left out), though the real target – President Bush is never named but is referred to.

The American military is made out to be a bunch of redneck, doped up, imbeciles. I think there was all of 1 scene in the film where our military wasn’t bouncing around popping off rounds while rambling to loud music. I was particularly insulted when the movie portrayed American soldiers slaughtering hospital/mental patients.

And of course the blatant greed of America was the central point. That we are like every country in the world is not the point. We are more vile and twisted. Our excesses corrupt every nation and culture – or so the film wants you to believe.

Now I’m not above a satire of our government. I am all for political comments in entertainment form. But at least let me enjoy the film. MASH was a great film and made significant political points, as did Platoon. This film jams those points down your throat so hard as to make you gag. Literally.

I like John Cusack. I like Ben Kingsley, Dan Ackroyd, Marisa Tomei, Montel Williams and others in this film. But in this waste of time they all are misused and, I would like to think in the case of Montel Williams (a former Marine) at least, misled as to the full nature of the film.

Hillary Duff is unbelievable as a young star twisted by the vices surrounding her. She can’t pull off the depth to make you feel bad for her, or even to accept her as a harlot she spends half the film trying to be.

The sudden and supposedly intense relationship between Cusack and Tomei never makes sense. Why he has feelings beyond mere lust (where he starts at) is unknown, as is when he suddenly starts to feel them. Like everything in this film it just doesn’t come together in any cohesive manner.

The humor of the film could fill a teaser trailer. The witty banter, not the verbal noise floating around as dialogue through 98% of this film, usually is spoken by one character in almost always 1 or 2 sentences.

Visually the film is boring, which matches the pace of the film. With all the bombs bursting, and the 3 action sequences, you might start to pay attention to the film which is exactly when it all ends. Even the over extended scenes of the on-going “war” make you yawn.

If anything was done right in this film, and I have to say it’s taken a couple of minutes of thought, it would have to be the opening sequence. Dark, brooding, a surprising bit of action, and foreboding. So after minute maybe 4 the film just deteriorates into a grating experience.

I had high hopes for this film. It’s obvious play on Grosse Point Blank gave me hope it would rise above the polispeak that was a given it would be encompassed in. But like a ship in the Sargasso Sea it was held fast and rotted away.

Let me put it this way, I would rather listen to Al Gore drone on, or have lunch with Senator Clinton, or have front row seats for the entire season of American Idol than see this film again. Stated in a less PC manner I think that having my left testicle cut off would be more fun.

I truly understand why this film has opened to limited theaters, and will unquestionably never recoup its cost. If there was going to be a Grosse Point Blank 2, this film has assassinated its hopes. Seriously don’t even pay for a bootleg copy of this film, watch Gigli or Glitter – you’ll enjoy them more. (ok it’s not that bad, but you get my point)