Music Video: Beyonce and Lady Gaga - do I need to say more?

By now I'm sure many have seen the new music video by Beyonce that features the popular Lady GaGa. Of course I'm sure there are just as many that might not have seen it yet considering how few music videos get played on MTV these days. But this video is special and I think even reviewers have missed the joke in the video. Read on and tell me if you get it too.

The song is called Video Phone. It's a very Lady Gaga song in that it is simplistic in the vocals and catchy at the same time. I'd also say that the major influence in the video comes from Lady Gaga and her people. It is a new direction for Beyonce, from what I saw. But like the song, the video works.

Of course, movie buffs (and others) like myself may find the video interesting for far more reasons than just the look and the eye catching colors. Then again there are more than a few that have issues with the video (though they missed the big thing - or were too embarrassed to mention it if they did get it).

"I will admit the video is pretty to look at, and Lady GaGa holds her own next to a major captial D Diva, but the womanizing undertones and dance for your dinner chair routine have my tummy feeling icky." - Ryan Brockington, NY Post

and

The Bad: Why exactly was Lady Gaga in this video? Her voice adds nothing to what was actually a pretty mediocre song. And the dance sequence with Beyonce and Lady Gaga? Hey, Gaga can’t keep up with Beyonce’s poppin’ and shakin.’ (But, then, who can?!) On top of that, Gaga looks a little emaciated next to the more athletic B. Regarding other aspects of the video, what’s up with all the guns? Not sure what that has to do with a video phone." - Creative Loafing

I see their points, (though Beyonce is just a normal Black woman that doesn't conform to the Hollywood fetish with anorexics) but I saw a whole lot of other things. First though, here is the video. [Sorry for the ad at the bottom of the video, but this is the video with the least obtrusive ad I could find]



Ok, so now you have seen it. Did you catch all the apparent homages in the video? Did you figure it out?

There is the Quentin Tarantino Resevoir Dogs shot, with a bit of the Cray 8's from Kill Bill. Then after a bit it gets all fetishy with the Zentai hoods and male bondage. It gets way more BDSM, in clothing, as I believe both ladies are in Rubber or Latex neon day-glow outfits with matching boots, and the Latex halter that Beyonce wears. Which makes sense if the thought is to show female dominance over the men in the video, and that explains all the guns plus the Tarrantino references.

But there is also a bit reference to Betty Page. Often seen on WWII bombers, it is also a reason for the guns, I suppose. By the way, the weapons are in dayglow colors to be PC and not promote guns - I think. It would make sense that the record label would want to avoid some liberal nutjob from making such an allegation and potentially losing anti-NRA viewers. And it prevents any connection of this video with the violence normally promoted in rap and occasionally hip hop. [Oh, the rifles are not AK-47's, they are AR15's also known as a M-16. Though I've never seen one with a silencer before. Plus a Tommy Gun, also with a silencer which I never saw before. And Lady Gaga has a .45]

Oh, and a possible homage to the classic Memorex television commercial too. Like I said, this video has a lot in it.

But what is the big secret? What does this video mean (at least visually)?

The director was thinking hard on this video. I mean he went all the way out there. The ghettofabulous Betty Page homage, the further reference to WWII with the Rising Sun flag based bikini and the gestapo styled hat - no idea why she is carrying a bow in those scenes though. But I suppose that explains the guy with all the arrows in him. Well that and the fetish of BDSM - inflicting pain but not killing the guy (he does move later in the video).

So here is what I think.

Actually I think the whole thing is just a big fetish video cleverly disguised, with obvious inspiration to Quentin Tarrantino (who seems to have a foot fetish himself), hidden in an innocuous song. Everyone is so busy watching Beyonce pop and somewhat exposed, plus trying to get a glimpse of any extras on Lady Gaga, that the rest of it just flies past everyone.

I like this video ever so much more now. It's the biggest joke, that everyone will be watching this and yet NO ONE will likely figure out what it is that's going on. I'm sure the director will be rolling on the floor with laughter as review after review misses the obvious yet praises the video; not realizing they are praising BDSM publicly. That's just hillarious.

Ok, so if you agree, do me a favor and pass around the word that I figured out the video first. I can't wait to hear the response once we spread this around the net.

What you find when you are bored

While I was searching for something of interest in entertainment news, I happened upon an old item in the Huffington Post. Now I don't normally read that blog, as I tend to disagree with the views there - massively. But I had seen an interesting press release from N.O.W. (while following up a different post) and thought I'd check it out.

The post was of course about women's breasts. It was a poll to judge who has the best breasts. It followed up a similar poll asking the same thing of men. Well actually it was chests for both groups, but we know for women they mean breasts.

Out of the 19 choices of Hollywood starlets, there were quite a few women not on the list. But there were a couple of big names as you might expect. And of course the group chosen was geared to the young, and White, women of Hollywood.

The top 5 according to the poll (on the site since Sept 26th)?

Salma Hayek, Heather Graham, Scarlett Johansson, Halle Berry, and Christina Hendricks in that order. Which really surprised me. I have no idea what goes on in the minds of some of these guys voting on this list.

My favorites were: Beyonce
, Christina Hendricks, Salma Hayek, Kendra Wilkinson, and Scarlett Johansson in that order.

But here is the real interesting question. If you could chose any actress, alive or dead, who would you pick as #1? It's not that easy a question but let me make it harder. Let's ask who had/has the best body? And inevitably I think the personalities and talent of the women being considered plays into the answer. But who would you pick to have had the best body of all time (foreign actresses count too - as long as they were in at least 1 U.S. film)?

And for my female readers, pick the best male body of all time. Same rules apply.

Let's see what real people thing about this.

Does Ralph Lauren have a fetish?

Like most people in the world I tend to find models too thin. Does that make them bad people? No. But it does make me wonder why they are so popular.

This all came up because of the actions of Ralph Lauren. In his quest to display his clothing on models that (after airbrushing) could moonlight as pipecleaners, he pissed off Boing Boing (a blog) and garnered far more negative publicity than he could have imagined. But a female friend of mine specualted why all men are so enraptured by women of few dimensions.

Honestly, I am aware of no one that likes a woman so bony a dog would pass them up. It's something that has completely bewildered me. For decades I have seen fashion models and been unimpressed. Of all my friends from high school and college, I cannot think of 1 that considered the weight of a model as attractive. Even the lesbian women I know think that feminine curves look far better than the sickly look of near-anorexia. And as for my models, they all are just natural women.

So where does the pressure come from? Why must the fashion industry near-exclusively use women of a size sub-zero?

I have to believe that the designers are the biggest group of fetishists in plain public sight. That's the only explaination. The women they use, or airbrush, are so far from the norm that Janeane Garafalow (her politics) is mainstream in comparison. Obviously they just saw one Popeye cartoon too many. Especially Ralph Lauren.

When you think about it, only a group of people obsessed with a singular fetish could gather together to make the most unwomanly women objects of desire. They are not the women that get married every day, they are not the moms that raised us all. They aren't even the women that a normal man looks forward to seeing in Playboy.

Why is this important? Well some so desire to be accepted that they will do anything to fit what they see as the ideal of society. And that means becoming anorexic or bulemic. Neither is a state that is worth the false impression of beauty.

The same thing applies to those that airbrush out the "baby bumps" or actresses and models, or lightens the skin of women of color - like L'Oreal did to Beyonce. As Jo Swinson said

"Today's unrealistic idea of what is beautiful means that young girls are under more pressure now than they were even five years ago...The focus on women's appearance has got out of hand - no one really has perfect skin, perfect hair and a perfect figure, but women and young girls increasingly feel that nothing less than thin and perfect will do."

I don't care if Lauren has a fetish about pipecleaners. I don't care that he wants to make a living while celebrating his appraent fetish. But I do care when anyone is put into a place where they feel that they have to behave unnaturally to match the fetish in someone else brain.

Let me be clear, looking like a model - especially in a magazine - is not beauty. No woman should ever be compelled to feel like it is. Because any normal man (or woman for that matter) will always prefer reality over someone else's fetish.

And if Ralph lauren doesn't like my opinion, he can piss off.

Models, actresses, and Valerie Bertinelli on People magazine

So here is a question. What is fat? Because the answer is very different for men and women. And that answer is the motivation of tens of millions of dollars in weight loss programs, ads, diet fads, magazines and so on.

I was wondering this recently as I was looking for models for my upcoming model photo shoot for my designer clothing lines. I decided to write on it after seen the cover of People magazine with Valerie Bertinelli.



Now there is no question that Ms. Bertinelli looks good. Considering her age and being a mom, very good indeed. But it was not like she was a slobbering mass of fat previously. In fact, if you look across the nation, at 172 pounds and 5’2” just 2 years ago she was about the norm.

But such a shape won’t get you on the cover of a magazine, or in many a movie role. For a woman. Yet I have to wonder why?

I recall how the nation was ogling the shape of Jennifer Lopez. Because she was considered by Hollywood standards to be voluptuous and extremely curvy. But in fact she was just the normal size of just about any Hispanic/Latino woman of her age in New York City. Hell, in the Bronx you can walk down the street and see a dozen women with better figures every day of the summer.

I recall how I had a conversation with a friend, who informed me that Beyonce is a plus-sized woman. I still reel with amazement at that. Most Black women I know have her shape and weight – again if not better.

So why is it that women must strive to look like Gabrielle Anwar from Burn Notice. Who I equate with anorexia and would never want to touch for fear of breaking her.

This is especially true when you consider men are not held to the same standard. Jack Nicholson, which Hollywood still considers sexy, is hardly fit or trim. And there are a host of men, Will Pertersen, Sean Connery, Laurence Fishburn, ect. that have varying degrees of extra weight and yet are still considered good looking and ready to work.

Now there is nothing wrong with anyone who wants to lose weight. Or anyone losing an extra person in fat off of them. It’s great that looking and being healthy is acknowledged. But I don’t get the drama associated with it.

I have been told that some models and actresses are just too big. That they are not thin enough by industry standards. Yet I know that most men find the more realistic female models and actresses to be very attractive. In fact every model I have used or will be using in my next photo shoot is an attractive successful real woman. As opposed to the look of starvation found in say America’s Top Model.

So, I want to ask the women out there. Does it matter to you. Beyond any one woman losing weight, does it matter when you see an actress in a movie how much she weighs? Will a woman buy clothing modeled by a woman that looks anything but anorexic?

And to the guys, virtually all of whom date and marry a woman that is anything but a size 0, do you really want a woman with the shape of one of the Olsen twins – or Beyonce?

I really want to know, because I think all my models are beautiful and real examples of women. And I will not go with an anorexic looking model for my clothing lines. So I want to know if that’s shooting myself in the foot or not. I won’t change, but I want to know the battle I am facing.

Grammy's versus Black History Month - 2.11.2008.1

Why is it that I have seen news on ‘Cookie’ Thornton for a day last week, and then a bit later news on C.J. Turner, but I have yet to hear that 3 of the 6 defendants responsible for the rape, torture and kidnapping of Megan Williams have admitted their guilt? Why is it that I have seen maybe half a dozen missing women reports since the beginning of the year yet none of them have been Black, Hispanic/Latino or Asian. Why is it that major news media followed every aspect of the OJ Simpson Las Vegas case for 2 weeks, but there was barely 5 minutes of coverage on Wesley Snipes being found innocent of Federal charges? [Look at the linlks on the bottom for posts on the above.]

I bet right now there is more news out about who won Grammy's, and what the celebrities and entertainers wore than on Megan Williams, Wesley Snipes, and every Black woman and child that went missing in this nation since the beginning of the year. At the very least you think you would see more about African Americans since this is Black History Month, yet that isn’t the case.

In fact, there is more news about the drugs Heath Ledger took to kill himself (accidental or not), or the coverage of the news about Kayne West and Amy Winehouse winning awards than there was about the 3 villages in Darfur that were bombed on Friday, and the tens of thousands of men, women, and children that are fleeing for their lives.

But what can the major media do? It’s only Black History Month. It’s only realistic and a small portion of it positive non-entertainment related news about African Americans and Blacks in the world. That’s not something important. And besides the quota of positive Black news was filled with the coverage of Senator Obama winning Primaries and Caucuses.

I would say I’m being obtuse and sarcastic, except I don’t see anything on the major media that refutes such a thought. Nothing. In fact I will make a bet with anyone willing to take it. I say there will be more coverage (in minutes of airtime and/or number of related stories) on the Grammy red carpet and what Beyonce, Bai Ling, Soulja Boy Tell'em, Carrie Underwood all wore, than about Megan Williams, Darfur, Wesley Snipes winning his trial, and every other positive news event other than Senator Barack Obama, combined. I’d also bet that the Grammy’s will garner more attention than Senator Obama’s wins this weekend. I won’t even bother comparing it to coverage celebrating the African Americans who made 1000’s of inventions that we use every day or those that have given up their lives so that Obama can be a Senator now.

I think this is the perfect month to ask, why are those White Americans that run the major media so terrified to present positive and real events involving African Americans? Why is it that the only real media focus is on Blacks as entertainers or criminals? Even in the one, shortest month of the year when attention of a positive nature is supposed to be the secondary, or even terciary focus.

The most I’ve noticed are more television commercials with Blacks in them. Like the one from Time Warner Cable. The one with a woman comedian (who looks White – but could be incredibly light skinned) who thanks Richard Pryor (without ever mentioning his name) for letting her be able to joke about events in her life on stage. While that may be a breakthrough, I think the things that Time Warner could promote about Richard Pryor beyond that can fill hours of television time. Yet that’s the best homage they could manage. Not his writing, his work to fight Muscular Dystrophy (MS) or other events.

In fact even in schools there is a failure to recognize African Americans and there contributions to America. There are tens of thousands of things that African Americans have done over centuries to improve lives in America, but don’t think the major media or schools will mention that. From early versions of gas masks that saved lives of miners and firemen 100 years ago, to the Tuskegee Airmen who saved hundreds of lives and helped win WWII, what has been done is barely ever scratched.

I know of schools that have yet to discuss African Americans, though they are discussing the world history. Kids of all races know a lot about the Holocaust, yet few know anything about the causes of the Civil War and where freeing slaves really fell as a priority. And if it were up to major media, not a single child would learn a thing more than Blacks play games well, can sing and shake their asses, and some can make funny movies. That’s the message out there.

The more I think about it the more I get upset and insulted.

If you have kids, nieces or nephews, take a moment and ask them about Black History. See if they can name more than 5 famous names (and what those people did). See if they can name anyone beyond Senator Obama, Dr. Martin Luther King [the DR. part is important – he had a doctorate and it should be included in his memory], Malcolm X, Dr. George Washington Carver, and Booker T. Washington (rappers, sports figures, and other entertainers of general achievement don’t count). Ask them if they know the real reason America had a Civil War (freeing slaves was an afterthought – tying up loose ends). Ask if they have ever heard of the Tuskegee Airmen, or Tuskegee College for that matter. And if you don’t know these things you can learn about it too.

Everyone in America has seen the positives of White America, the positive news of various selfless acts, and the fears that occur when a White child is missing. I just wish the major media could give a little bit of attention to those same things for African Americans, or any people of color, at least during the shortest month of the year.

Since America is set against apologizing for the slavery that built the foundations of this nation, and livid at the mention of reparations fro that slavery, the Jim Crow laws and segregation that followed, a bit of positive images are the least that can be done.

Is TMZ right about Robin Thicke and the BET Awards? - 6.14.2007.1

TMZ.com has just reported on the chance of Mr. Robin Thicke winning the BET Award for either Viewer’s Choice or Best Male categories. While TMZ was a bit smarmy in their comments it is an interesting question.

There is no question that the Oscar Awards made a point of not selecting African Americans for nomination or a win for decades. I spoke about the snubs the Oscars recently made against Dreamgirls and Mr. Eddie Murphy.

“I’m speaking about the omission of Dreamgirls from the Best Picture category. I’d love to hear the justification for this. In 79 years, the total time Oscar Awards have been around, there has never been a leading nominee not also being in Best Picture.”

And

“The difference in what the public feels was a great performance and what the Academy deems award-winning is a vast ocean apart. I’m referring to the loss of Mr. Eddie Murphy. Widely held as the best performance in his acting career, winning several awards leading to this ceremony and then snubbed.”

Similar snubs have happened in music, but that barrier was broken years ago. I recall hearing about advertisments made on behalf of Mr. Elvis Presley, stating that people should buy his version of certain songs and not the ‘colored’ version (I think Hound Dog was one of them). Thankfully those days are long past. Or are they?


Is there a difference in the BET Awards not nominating more White entertainers and that of the Oscars apparent prejudice to Black entertainers? I realize that the BET Awards have nominated White performers before, 2 to be exact, and they did not win. I realize that Mr. Thicke may not win, the competition is strong. Mr. Thicke is up against Akon, Mr. John Legend, Ms. Beyonce Knowles, Ciara and several others. But is this the discrimination that seems to be implied by TMZ?

I can’t say, I don’t watch award shows. In addition I don’t listen to most hip-hop or R&B music these days (as can be guessed by my other posts I’m not a fan of gansta rap). I tend to enjoy classical (love Beethoven) and rock&roll more. [Sadly there are few African American entertainers in rock, which is a shame as I have to believe Living Color, Fishbone, and Mr. Lenny Kravitz are not the full range of what could be offered.] Still this is a question I am wondering about.

Since I don’t know enough to make a comment on one side or the other, I ask what you think. Has the BET Awards acted like the Oscars in restricting who gets nominated? IF they have is that wrong?

This is what I think, what do you think?

Fear Master Shake, and who is most desirable - 1.31.2007.1

Well there were a few things that caught my eye today. One item, was the sad reminder that large amounts of wealth and a strong dash of fame rarely mixes well with friends and family. In this case it’s the signal of perhaps the end of a long friendship for Mr. Bruce Willis. While the lawsuit was settled, the fact that it had been made may be the breaking point between Mr. Willis and his friend. I’m always sorry to hear of stories like this. There are never any winners in this kind of situation.

Speaking of a no-win situation, imagine that you are just coming home after a particularly stressful day. Your only thought is to get home and relax watching television in that massage chair you got over Christmas. You sit down, turn it on, and after a few minutes you pop up wondering what you left on the stove that was burning. Sadly you realize that it’s actually your chair on fire. Not a good day at all. Luckily for most of my readers it’s not an issue, the massage chairs made by Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. Ltd, are sold in Japan and Asia (and are being recalled). So perhaps your day here is not as bad as you might have first thought.

In terms of relaxing, it seems that there are quite a few men that daydream about a few stars. A list was made by AskMen.com on the 99 most desirable women of 2007 [why 99? And isn’t it a bit early to be doing this kind of list in January?] had Ms. Beyonce Knowles at number 1. A good choice I think.

Who didn’t make the list? Well I think Ms. Alicia Keys should have made it. Talented and good looking, but the low profile she had in 2006 kept her out. That’s a shame. On the other end of the spectrum Mrs. Britney Spears (is she still married?) didn’t make it either. Thank goodness. I’m so tired of seeing her face. Limited talent, not really that pretty, no class – why do people still talk about her? And where was Mrs. Jada Pinkett-Smith? She is classy and sexy and deserves to be on the list, married or not. I have to add a long time favorite of Ms. Claudia Black. [Ayrn Sun rules! I don’t give a frell if you don’t agree. My fellow ‘Scapers know what I mean.]

Now as for the other women on the most desirable list, Ms. Gabrielle Union is far too low at 94. Ms. Rosario Dawson made it to 77, Ms. Jennifer Esposito got 69 (higher than Ms. Dawson?), Fergie is 60, Mrs. Gwen Stefani hit 56, Ms. Mandy Moore ranked 53, Ms. Tyra Banks was what to high at 26. Ms. Charlize Theron could have been higher at 24, Ms. Angalina Jolie caught 9, and Ms. Jessica Alba was far too high at 3. There are a huge number of women I have never seen before (but I’m not big on basic television or low quality programming so that could be a factor). And why are most of the women so thin that they have little or no curves? Face it, they may say that Ms. Knowles is number 1 because of abilities, but her sex appeal didn’t hurt either. That sex appeal is in no small part the fact that she has curves. Why most forms of entertainment are afraid of women with curves I have no idea. If models were shaped more like Ms. Knowles or Ms. Mayra Veronica I’m sure Top Model or runway shows would be far more interesting, for men and women. But that’s my take on the list you can check it out and make your on decision. [Ms. Hilary Duff, Ms. Jennifer Aniston, Ms. Lindsay Lohan, Ms. Penelope Cruz, Ms. Jessica Simpson, Ms. Eva Longoria all made the list and I have no idea why.]

Lastly, I hope that the actions or guerilla marketers in Boston will not adversely affect the programming at Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. You may have heard how the various images of Err, and Master Shake shoke-up the city with fears of a terrorist scare or bombing hoax. It actually was just advertising that went wrong. It seems similar marketing ploys are in 9 other cities, and have been for weeks. I have to wonder though, that since these items were around for a couple of weeks (as was reported), did someone from the parent network decide to get some extra attention and called in the first couple of bomb reportings? Maybe an exec with a desire to get more traction since some poll showed the marketing wasn’t getting enough attention? I have to admit that I thought something was up when Err was pictured on screen and reporters fumbled to figure out who he was and the name of the show. They couldn’t even get the Moonites name right at first. Watching them describe the Aqua Teen Hunger Force show broke up the tension a lot! The apology at 7:59pm on Fox News, for screwing up the details, was classic!

This is what I think, what do you think?