Johnny Depp wants to be a woman

With all my reviews of the current health care reform debacle, and Torchwood on BBC America, I have missed something interesting. And it’s about Johnny Depp no less. You would think I heard about it since I do enjoy this actor’s work.

But I did not. What I missed is the role that Johnny Depp wants to take on. And as he is wont to do, this role steps far and way from the norm of Hollywood. Johnny Depp wants to do a biopic, as a woman.

Let me clarify, Depp does not want to play a cross-dresser, or a transvestive, or even someone gay. No when I say he wants to take on the role of a woman, I mean just that. So throw away your thoughts of Dressed To Kill, or To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.

The woman in question is Carol Channing. She is older (88), so most of us may not be familiar with her. She is an accomplished singer and actress. She has won 3 Tony Awards, A Golden Globe Award, and an Oscar Award nomination. So when I said accomplished I was not kidding. Her best known work is from her roles on stage, which may be part of why some of us are unfamiliar with her body of work.

Channing is a surprising choice for another reason. One that reflects the social attitudes of America, up to present day. Revealed in her 2002 autobiography for the first time was the fact that she is ¼ African American. It comes from her father’s side of the family, and was only revealed to her when she went to college – because her mother didn’t want her shocked if she had a Black baby.

This was a secret Channing found so important to hide from Hollywood and Broadway she didn’t reveal it to anyone until she was 81. That says quite a bit about Hollywood and Broadway, and America in general.

Beyond that, one of her most memorable roles was Lorelei Lee in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes – her rendition then of Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend is considered classic.


(This is a good performance, but imagine when she did this some 40 years earlier)

But she has also starred in far more recent work that I and my readers may be more familiar with. That includes being a voice actor in Chip N Dale’s Rescue Rangers, Family Guy. Also appearances on dozens of television shows including Sesame Street the new Addams Family, The Love Boat, The Drew Carey Show, Space Ghost . The Muppet Show, Magnum PI, Coast to Coast, The Flip Wilson Show and even an episode of Playboy After Dark (in 1969). Plus films including the 1985 version of Alice in Wonderland and voice work as recent as Thumbelina in 1994.


She is iconic enough to have been impersonated by dozens of male comedians, including Robin Williams, and Ryan Stiles of Whose Line Is It Anyway?

This is the woman that Johhny Depp wants to portray. And Channing herself thinks he can pull it off.

“I imagine when or if Johnny should portray me, he will succeed," the Broadway legend told the Advocate. "Because a true artist, such as himself, is one who loves his or her creation and therefore represents their honest view of that which they are creating. I think he is a gifted performer and I would be very proud, as well as interested, in seeing what his vision of me would be.”

I too think he could do it. Not that I think he has the look of a young Channing, but because he is just that damn good. Plus makeup these days is fantastic. Add to the fact that he kind of prepared for such a role from his work in Ed Wood.

Johnny Depp as a woman. It’s just so far out there that the more I think about it, the more I think it’s perfect for him.

Update on The Day The Earth Stood Still

Way back in August this year I mentioned my preview of The Day The Earth Stood Still. In that preview I had only one video clip of the film to judge the revisioning of the 1951 classic by. And I stated that it would be more of a waste of money than the total auto industry bailout - well not the bailout but a waste of time. But I also made a couple of assumptions.



While I am right that this film is a disservice to the original, and is yet another example of why a revisioned film is a pathetic excuse for Hollywood to say something no one wants to see/hear, I did get something wrong.

"And there is the benefit of appealing to women with the hint of the line

“If the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the Earth survives."

Such a hokey line and idea never was in the first film, but I’m sure it will garner positive reviews from women’s groups because she is so important to the world."

Wrong. The line is not meant about the one woman it is said to but about mankind in total. Of course I was placing the importance of that singular female character on a high category, which it was in the first film along with her son. But then again I am not an eco-fanatic nor am I a far-left Hollywood writer or movie studio exec. Films might be better if I were, or at least remakes I think.

The line in fact refers to the ecology of the Earth. We humans are destroying it and so some alien needs to come down and save our planet from us. Basically an alien version of Greenpeace and PETA mixed together without that much peace. Thank you Hollywood for giving us your political commentary yet again.

I also stated in my original preview

"The new film will likely lose all the nuance, and subtle political message of the original film. In fact I expect the film will make a political point like using a sledgehammer to open a sunflower seed."

Well a 25 foot tall robot could definitely be a sledgehammer. Or the plague of microbots and their erasive nature. But the point was correct. Be green or else is the only mission, plot and image this film wants to convey. Which is fine if you want to be at an Al Gore rally. But when I spend $9 just to get a ticket, and give up 2 hours of my life, I prefer to be entertained.

Film has long ago given messages in the stories that it presents. For America, most of the films that were solely focused on this were called B-films, and were laughable. Today we see a Hollywood that could make Ed Wood proud. Hollywood gives us over the top, often CGI enhanced, massively budgeted, political commentary in the guise of something we liked in the past and are lured in to see again. In essence we are just throwing away good money and time for a stump speech that does do more than annoy and infuriate because we were given a bait-n-switch flim-flam. [They could have just given the entire budget to Greenpeace, PETA, and various global warming groups and saved the planet their carbon emissions and wasting out time.]

I stand by my original postulation on The Day The Earth Stood Still. It will make some money because of the effects and the stars in the film (notably Keanu Reeves and Jaden Smith, not to mention Jennifer Connelly). But this will ultimately be a failure. It will fail to do justice to the original film, the original message, the writing, and the entertainment value we expect to receive for our money.

I don't think I can say it more bluntly.