Guitar Hero takes over television

I am sure all the gamers out there have heard this news already, but for anyone that missed this here we go. Reality television shows are here to stay, sadly, but over the past several years they have been dwindling in viewers. Shows like American Idol, Survivor and the ilk are all getting a bit old. So in a quest for television programming that requires the least effort, lowest cost, and about as much mental stimulation as sugar has nutrients a potential new craze is about to spring forward.

Guitar Hero.

Yep. The belief is that Activision will soon be announcing that the video gaming industry leading game will be hitting a television station real soon. And if that isn’t enough, expect to be able to buy tickets to watch a Guitar Hero concert in your local stadium/arena too.

Talk about the lowest common denominator. For people too lazy to actually purchase and/or play a Guitar Hero game, and too much of a couch potatoe to change a channel, the ability to watch a person play a game has now come. I can hear the Simon Cowell equivalent for this show berating someone for improperly mashing their fingers to a song that actually required talent and skill to perform in the first place.

I can’t wait until there are crowds of people screaming out ‘yellow, yellow, red, blue!’ Or better yet talk shows and pundits glibly chatting about the ‘skill’ and 'quality' of a Guitar Hero program. Probably will call the show ‘Are you a Hero?’

And I wonder what in the world the winner of this reality snore fest will receive? A trip to Disney? A box of band-aids? A spot in a television commercial for the umpteenth version of the Guitar Hero video game?

Seriously, the only thing I could imagine is that the aforementioned concert is their next option. But would you really want to pay top dollar to watch some kid mash a bunch of buttons to your favorite band? Think about it, you might pay some $40 dollars to watch someone, hopefully play correctly, a song you have on CD or a MP3 that you paid $5 for. And it isn’t even the originals you are watching.

Hell, you can go to a local bar and get more out of watching a cover band.

Do I hate reality television? Oh Yeah! Do I think that this idea is only good for the people least likely to reproduce? Our global genetic DNA pool would seriously be improved if that is the case. Do I think that if this show comes on, it’s only a matter of time before television hits the ultimate lowest common denominator of just flashing random colors on a screen? If they do, I bet the text votes will go to the color blue.

If this becomes a reality, I seriously fear for the human race. Honest.

Career choices - play Guitar Hero or be a comatose lemming

In-between the latest bit of ambulance chasing news of Greta Van Sustern (in my opinion), and the various spills of the Olympics I ran across the possibly most idiotic piece of new of the year (to date anyway). What could be worse than Greta reporting endlessly on news events that the majority of people no longer want to hear about, or the endless discussions of which group of Olympic athletes look best? Simply this, a kid quit school to play Guitar Hero.

It can’t be said enough, a 16 year old boy (that I’m willing to bet money is White – just because I cannot imagine a Black mother going along with this kind of idea) gave up on going to school to pursue a dream of playing video games, Guitar Hero in particular, for a living. This is not being a play tester for a gaming company – which is a career – just playing for competition.

The parents of this kid need to be slapped. Then the kid needs to be knocked about a bit, and then the parents again.

Now the fact the kid was an idiot, and could not do well in high school, and was not liked or popular is beside the point. That is not an excuse to just give up. And I realize that the kid is now getting tutored which has improved his learning. This is still not the same as getting a high school education. Part of high school is learning to interact with people, not all of which will like or value this individual or that one. Such is life.

This kid is hoping that Guitar Hero will remain popular, for his lifetime, in order to earn a living. The best in the industry – of which there are few – generally earn $25,000 which isn’t much. And I dare anyone to name a video game that is as popular 10 years after the first version of the game as the first. I’m a gamer and I can only think of one, Resident Evil. And it has its own ups and downs.

The parents of this kid have decided to ruin their child’s chances of earning a living, ever. If the kid was learning to program games, cool. If the kid had a real job as a back up, great. But this loser has 1 thing he can do. Play Guitar Hero. He might as well as commit suicide (I’m not being exactly literal) and save himself the anguish of life as a peon without social skills or marketable job qualifications.

This loser might even capture a few pre-teen girlfriends that he can wine and dine with his winnings of fast food gift certificates. But somehow I doubt that anyone else would be the least bit interested.

What bout of brain dead malfunctioning would allow parents to ok such an act? I have nothing against video games, they are a fun distraction. And I respect those that worked hard to learn the skills to create this impressive graphic computer marvels. But playing a video game is not training for the Olympics, or even viably planning for the future.

What happens when a new harder version of the game comes out? What if the game becomes unpopular? What if the supposed skill he has at this game is non-transferable to any other future game? The kid will be lucky to get a job hauling manure (and I really don’t mean it insult the people who haul manure, they at least do an honest days work unlike this kid). And sadly that means that both the parents and inevitably the Government will have to support this anti-social half-wit. My taxes are worth more.

I really cannot impress upon you my disgust at hearing this news. Yes I am upset that this kid believes his only claim for existence is that he can PLAY a game better than most (not even best). But I am insanely more pissed off that these parents have such little faith in their child’s abilities, and their own obviously detrimental parenting skills, as to destine this child to a life of poverty, ridicule, and about as much intellectual growth as a comatose lemming.

Please, do not do this to your children.

Snoop Dogg in Country Music: a bad experiment

Oh my… I have seen everything now. Snoop Dogg has made a country music song, and a video to go with it.

Now as your shock subsides I will present the video to you



This video was dedicated to Johnny Cash. Somehow I don’t think he would be pleased with the song itself. Perhaps the idea would have made him smile though.

I have no problem with an artist crossing over to a different genre. Many of the greatest have done it and quite well. Ray Charles is perhaps one of the best known for his ability to convey emotion while introducing a new style of music to his listeners. Johnny Cash notably did so with his powerful rendition of Hurt by Nine Inch Nails.

But Snoop Dogg?

Well in listening to the song I can say there are several positives. Sadly there are several negatives that are what has made Snoop Dogg popular.

The music is fine if not a bit simplistic. It’s catchy in an older style of country music flavor (which is more my favored style). The vocals include a large helping of Willie Nelson, thankfully crowding out the fact that Snoop Dogg cannot sing. But the combination mostly works throughout most of the song. And that’s all the positives I found.

Now if you actually listen to the song, it’s not really country music to me. It’s basically a drug dealer talking about pimping his girl to get high. I’m not overly-familiar with country music today, but I’m not familiar with any entertainer that promotes such a thought in their music. It is what I would expect from Snoop Dogg though, and I don’t think it’s what Johnny Cash would have like.

Cash told stories of life, and mistaken choices that often involved abuses of alcohol and/or drugs. He was anti-drugs, and his music tried to uplift the spirit. I’m not saying he was the most cheerful of entertainers, but he was meaningful. Snoop’s My Medicine is not.

Looking at the visual presentation, perhaps the worst aspect is watching Snoop Dogg try to hold a guitar. He looks lost. He makes it quite apparent that he has virtually no musical ability, unless playing Guitar Hero counts. Slightly less unappealing is his country-esque clothing. The cowboy hat is ok, but some of the outfits just don’t work. He looks as silly as the song deserves to be considered.

My ultimate problem is the wording. Snoop Dogg seems to be trying to bring country music to the same guttural level that rap music has fallen to. His reference to his girlfriend being less important than the money for his drugs disturbs me. It’s not presented as a person with a serious problem, but as a fact of life that is enjoyed. I have a problem with that.

This is a fluff song. There is nothing to it, besides the hope of the promoters and music company executives of gaining higher sales for their respective artists and music genres. I don’t think Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash or country music are in any form of desperation for listeners. Thus this was an experiment.

On levels this experiment works, on many others it fails. Hopefully there will be others that can pick up this idea and make it really work. Blending country music and rap makes sense. Both depict stories of life and lessons learned. Both are grounded in life today. But gangsta rap is an exaggerated aberration of the reality that exists, and country music has no equivalent. If it never gains such an extreme I think it will be the better for it.

Otherwise the CMT Music Awards can expect to be giving out awards to entertainers starring in videos of women in Daisy Dukes - that the women of Hazzard wouldn’t go outdoors in – riding a horse while villainous black hats shoot down lawmen while singing/rapping the glory of selling drugs.

Think it can’t happen? Let this video catch on and music execs will do to country music what happened to all other forms of rap except gangsta rap.

But what do you think of the video?