Coming to a movie theater soon: Monopoly - 2.20.2008.3

The Writer’s Guild strike is over, but the damage may have already taken its toll. Not that there has been any exceptional stories in movies or television in years if not decades. In fact were it not for comic books (X-men, Spiderman, Wolverine, Iron Man, Batman ect), real life events (American Ganster, Hotel Rwanda), and the ever present ‘revisioned’ remake (The Invaders, The Honeymooners, I Am Legend) the quality of ‘original’ movies would be on par with American Idol. And to compliment that vacum of thought or creativity is Candy Land.

Now if you are thinking that I mean some kind of strip club, take your mind out of the gutter. Candy Land is the children’s game made by Hasbro. Yes, this game intended for ages 5 (or is it 3) and up will soon be on the big screen. I can see all the parents lining up for the tickets now.

I don’t know what is worse. That Hollywood is so devoid of ideas and has remade all the quality films and televisions shows that now children’s board games are the next source of inspiration. This must be connected to the Transformers movie (that contained more plot holes and blatantly stupid characters than anything that comes to mind at the moment). It was that fiasco of a movie, that had just enough explosions to numb the minds of viewers, that must have given Hasbro the thought that they have movie worthy material.

Of course the Transformers was originally a childrens cartoon, and then became a comic book. It had depth, of a sort, in the various versions of the cartoon series and character development in the tomes. There was something to build on. Not that any of this made it into the actual movie.

But I cannot fathom a movie based on Monopoly. Or Ouija which is also planned. Though the game Battleship does have potential. In that at least there is some sense, but I would expect it to turn out to be a modified remake of Run Silent Run Deep or The Enemy Below. Modified to be less than heroic or patriotic which is the current trend in military movies, sadly.

The truly sad part? Once these movies come out, and the inevitable sequels and prequels, what is next? If this is not scaping the bottom of the barrel for ideas to base a motion picture on, I’m sure Hollywood will find the bottom. But do you really want to see Doggroomer – the story of Fifi on her daily walk down 5th Ave.

Don’t worry though, a ‘revisioned’ American Idol – The Movie is sure top be out soon.