2010 Razzie winners

It's now official. The winners of the worst that Hollywood offered in 2009 have been identified and given their Razzie honors they richly deserved.

The list of movies should not be a surprise to most. Some of the top money films of 2009 filled the lists and the only real shock is that people flocked to the films in the first place.

Starting things off is one of the films I really hated and a source of controversy

Worst Picture – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Director – Michael Bay, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

This beat out my pick of Land of the Lost. Still, I did mention

I reviewed it, and still am amazed that people paid money for this crap. Then again people bought pet rocks too."

Worst Actor – All Three Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience

Enough said there. Though I still think the hatch job Steve Martin did on Pink Panther 2 would have killed Peter Sellers if he wasn't dead already.

Worst Actress – Sandra Bullock, All About Steve

What were the odds of Bullock taking both a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year? I thought she would be a close runner up, but I admit I was again wrong.

Worst Supporting Actor – Billy Ray Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie

Worst Supporting Actress – Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe

Worst Screen Couple – Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, All About Steve

Worst Remake Rip-Off Sequel – Land of the Lost

Did you really think this bomb of a movie wouldn't win some Razzie? I picked GI Joe in part because I thought Land of the Lost would win the worst picture award. Neither was worth the time to see, or the film it was made with.

Worst Pictures of the Decade – Battlefield Earth

Definitely a bad movie. But there were so many more that deserved this title even more. Still of the horrendous choices J-lo has to feel a bit better that she missed this award.

Worst Actor of the Decade – Eddie Murphy

Honestly I disagree with this. Given his last several films belong on Pluto along with the film of the same name. But the man has talent. Even in his horrible films he plays multiple roles, and usually at least 1 or 2 are decently done. And his work in Dreamgirls really should have raised him up a notch on the competition.

I stand by picking Mike Meyers for destroying the legacy of Dr. Suess.

Worst Actress of the Decade – Paris Hilton

While I gave this to Mariah Carey, there is no question that even her acting does have more talent than Hilton - barely. But Hilton has a lot of money. You would think she would have paid to ensure she didn't win. Then again, maybe she paid to make sure she did, since this will be the only award she ever wins based on her "talent".

Well I didn't do so well this year overall. I missed quite a few film predictions, though several matched my previews, reviews, and special mentions. I don't feel bad though. When it comes to this low on the scale of entertainment, they are all mired in muck.

2010 Razzie Awards predictions

Every year I find that the Razzie Awards are more on the mark and widely agreed upon than anything the Oscar Awards ever comes up with. The Oscar's inevitably select some of the least seen, least enjoyable films and give them the biggest awards. But the Razzie's stick with what the public saw (or refused to see), and what we were going to the movies for - entertainment.

Given this year the Oscar's added Avatar to it's list of nominees (which may have more than a bit to do with the political statements of the film as much as anything else). But who saw the Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, An Education, and/or A Serious Man? Besides critics and family of the various cast and crew.

Doesn't mean they aren't good films. It just means that the Oscar's don't really address what people see. But the Razzie's...

3 of the films up for Worst movie of 2010 are films I previewed/reviewed and hated. Each one was cited as a waste of your money, and an excursion into the depths of nausea that only Hollywood could create. It seems that I was spot on.

Worst Film of 2010 -

All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - I reviewed, hated it
Land of the Lost - I previewed, and saved myself the waste of life it would have required to see it
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - I reviewed it, and still am amazed that people paid money for this crap. Then again people bought pet rocks too.

Prediction - winner will be Land of the Lost. Even though it would be quite funny to see Sandra Bullock win an Oscar (she is favored for another film) and a Razzie in the same year, I think she is going to be hit with the same thing that got Eddie Murphy. Hollywood has a problem with an actor/actress that does one film that is serious, and in the same year does a film that gets them paid.

Thus Will Ferrell will be picked, signalling the absolute end of his short-lived career as a movie star.

Worst Actor

Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas -- Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
Will Ferrell -- Land of the Lost
Steve Martin -- Pink Panther 2 - I recommeneded against this film
Eddie Murphy -- Imagine That
John Travolta -- Old Dogs

Prediction - Well, to be honest I avoided all of these films. Every indication was that they were awful and likely painful to see. But I have to believe that Steve Martin will win. Because not only is he insulting as Inspector Closeu - if you have seen any of the Peter Seller originals, he is abysmal from a revisioned new viewer point of view as well.

Worst Actress

Beyonce Knowles -- Obsessed
Sandra Bullock -- All About Steve
Miley Cyrus -- Hannah Montana: The Movie
Megan Fox -- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Sarah Jessica Parker -- Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Prediction - In a crowd of horrible acting and worse films you go with what was the biggest let down. We know Beyonce can't act, and Parker gave up on the idea after cashing in with Sex in the City (movie or television show, take your pick). Cyrus is a kid, in a kid movie so there was no real acting expectation. That leaves Bullock and Fox. Fox was supposed to be sexy, an up-and-coming actress and important to the sequel. She wound up being none of the above.

Worst Remake, Rip-off (ie. revisioned), Sequel

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Pink Panther 2
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

Prediction - wow this is a tough category. Every one of these films turned my stomach. In each one the best part of the film was the end credits rolling onscreen. How do you pick the worst of true wastes of far better ideas?

GI Joe. Because this was an action figure for decades (before they got shranks to 3 inches), a fun if moronic television cartoon for decades, and thus the stuff of positive memories and fantasy. All crushed and mangled after seeing this equivalent of a purse-snatching of the public's money.

Future prediction - When the sequel comes out, and you know it will, avoid that too. It won't get better, just worse.


As a bonus this year we also get to select the worst films in the last decade. Considering the decade and the rash of politics-instead-of-entertainment films the list choices could be huge. The Razzies picked the following.

Worst Picture of the Decade

Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Gigli
I Know Who Killed Me
Swept Away

Actually I would have had Lions for Lambs and Redacted in this list. Then again, no one saw those film. War, Inc. is also another great choice, and only a handful of critics saw it (the only audience likely).

Of the Razzie choices I picked Gigli. Not only because it was horrible, but because no one can pronounce the name right. But if I had my choice in the last decade I'd go with Capitalism by Michael Moore. Because the very subject this multi-millionaire rails against is the thing that provided his wealth, is the purpose of the film in a theater, and the freedom to be a hypocrit.

Worst Actor of the Decade

Ben Affleck
Eddie Murphy
Mike Myers
Rob Schneider
John Travolta

While Eddie Murphy will likely win - he does have more roles to pick on since he has played more roles in a single movie than most other actors play in a decade - I don't think he should. I'd go with Myers. Affleck occasionaly does something decent, and other than Gigli has not been gut-wrenchingly bad. Travolta, even in BattleField Earth, is interesting to watch. Schneider couldn't make a good film if James Camerron centered a film around him. Thus Myers is the only one that really was supposed to be interesting and completely failed. Plus who didn't hate how he killed Dr.Suess's beloved Cat in the Hat.

Worst Actress of the Decade

Mariah Carey
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Jennifer Lopez
Madonna

Talk about a list of women whose main talent is their body. Seriously, Lopez is better known for her ass and who is getting to bump it than acting (and rightly so). Lohan is best known for being a drunken lush. Carey and Madonna at least can sing, though when was the last big hit for either?

Hilton is a special category. Her only claim to fame is she inherited so much money that everyone can get a peice of it (and her for that matter) and she will still be wealthy. The only redeeming quality of Hilton is her money.

But I guess the winner will be Carey. Not that any of the women on the list have more talent, or were in any degree better actresses. It's just that Carey broke an unspoken rule: If you have no ability, but look great, shut up and just walk sexy (in tight clothes) as much as possible. It's the only reason the movie Catwoman made any money (though Halle Berry does have acting skills).

Movie Preview: Land of the Lost

I was thinking about the upcoming movie Land of the Lost earlier today. I had been flipping channels and saw that Sci-Fi had a marathon of the episodes on. I watched a few, reminding me of my youth some time ago.

Now the thing is that the children’s television show used to appear in the 70’s on Saturday mornings. It’s campy, unrealistic, and done in stop animation – which looks bad compared to the effects of say Jurassic Park. That doesn’t even cover the bad make-up jobs on the Sleestac creatures that abound the show. But it was entertaining, and even moreso today.

Then I saw trailers for the Will Ferrell movie remake. The first thought I had was instantly ‘revisioning’. Those that follow my movie reviews know that this almost always means a crappy movie. When you add in the fact that this is a television show to movie conversion, well the odds of it being a crappy movie go up exponentially. Perhaps the only way you could be more sure this will be horrendous was if 2 or more rappers were in the film.



The trailers really don’t have any of the campy charm of the original show. From what I’ve seen it looks like it will be a running gag of how wrong, and stupid, Will Ferrell’s character can be. Add in a couple of bits of CGI, and there you go. To say I’m underwhelmed at this point is an understatement.

But this film will draw an audience. Not a big one by my bet, but it might just break-even. Which is a shame as that means Will Ferrell will likely continue on the path of mediocre films he has been doing for years now. He was funny in Elf. But by the time I saw Ricky Bobby, the joke was old. Now it’s as ancient as the dinosaurs are supposed to be.

Let me share a known secret about movies, specifically movie trailers. The editors of any film have one huge job when it comes to the movie trailers, which is to make the film look good. Any halfway decent editor can make the worst film look like a $100 million dollar blockbuster. They tend to grab the best 2 minutes of a film and cobble it together, so viewers will rush in expecting a far better film than they get 9 out of 10 times.

Look at some of the worst films you have ever seen, and check out the trailers of that film. In almost every case you will see a great (relative to the final product) movie trailer.

When I watch the trailer for Land of the Lost, I am immediately drawn to the fact that the writers almost definitely never saw the show. Not as kids or adults. I can also see that a huge chunk of the below the line costs of the film were spent on CGI animation. But what I don’t get are really funny jokes. Or any hint of a plotline beyond the one joke that is obvious (as stated above).

The film makes me think of the revisioning of Dukes of Hazzard and Lost in Space. Or perhaps Starsky & Hutch. Films that no sober person ever saw before, or even maybe after, they hit cable. And they hit cable fast, as the DVD sales sucked as well. They were bad films, remakes of far better television shows, and completely revisioned.

Of course Land of the Lost, and other shows of this ilk, are not targeting my dollars. They know that I remember the show. They know that I would see the trailer and think it was crap. Nope, they are targeting an audience of 25 and under. Because it’s all new to you. And since it’s new, the younger audience is not expecting better.

Hollywood has become a land of low expectations, and lower performances. Movie studios won’t spend the money on an original script – especially when they can revamp someone else’s idea. They slop together a half-thought out idea, and bang there is a movie. They will keep doing this too, until audiences stop paying to see this warmed up refuse.

I’m sure Will Ferrell got paid well for this film. Good for him, honestly. He didn’t have to work hard and got his money up front. I don’t blame him. But I will say that based on the trailer, the running joke, and the plot if you see this movie you will be wasting money.