The Razzie Award nominations are out

Ah, what is January without the annual Razzie Award nominations. Not that 2008 was a year lacking actors, actresses, and films aplenty for the nominations. In fact I’m sure the judges had quite the time trying to narrow the field.

But the Razzies generally pick the top of the worst of any given year. And unlike the Oscars, the film nominated here you have definitely heard of, and sadly might have seen. Such is the shame of Hollywood year after year.

For 2009 we have the following, with my comments included:

Worst Picture:

Disaster Movie
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Meet the Spartans
The Happening - boring
The Hottie & the Nottie – any movie that would have Paris Hilton in it should automatically be nominated, if not win.
**Why is The Day The Earth Stood Still not in this?**

Worst Actor

Mike Myers - The Love Guru
Eddie Murphy - Meet Dave - What is wrong with Murphy these days. He can be so much better than this.
Al Pacino - 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
Mark Wahlberg - The Happening and Max Payne - Neither film was worth the money
Larry the Cable Guy - Witless Protection - How he cannot win I can’t imagine.
**I know everyone seems to disagree, because he is dead, but Heath Ledger’s Joker sucked.**
***And Keanu Reeves deserves to be in this group more than Wahlberg does, for his work in The Day The Earth Stood Still***

Worst Actress

Jessica Alba - The Love Guru and The Eye - She is just really bad.
Cameron Diaz - What Happens in Vegas - Embarrassing
Paris Hilton - The Hottie & the Nottie - The must win choice. The other ladies may have tried but they all have far more talent in their sleep than Hilton at her best (if such a moment exists).
Kate Hudson - Fool's Gold and My Best Friend's Girl
The Entire Cast of "The Women" - Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan.

Worst Supporting Actor

Uwe Boll, Postal
Pierce Brosnan - Mamma Mia! - How far we have fallen since The Matador and Bond.
Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru, War, Inc., The Wackness - I like him, but War, Inc. just puts him over the top in this one.
Burt Reynolds, Deal and In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Postal.

Worst Supporting Actress

Carmen Electra - Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans - Hey, be nice she can’t do better.
Paris Hilton - Repo! The Genetic Opera; - Yet another film proving that were it not for money she would have nothing to justify her life
Kim Kardashian - Disaster Movie
Jenny Mccarthy, Witless Protection; - She deserves it just for appearing in the film
Leelee Sobieski - 88 Minutes, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Worst Screen Couple

Uwe Boll and Any Actor, Camera and Screenplay
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens In Vegas - The only words I have are, I understand why they got a Razzie
Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Jorel David Moore, The Hottie And The Nottie - Again the queen of too much money and no talent stands out.
Larry The Cable Guy and Jenny Mccarthy, Witless Protection; - Giving Paris Hilton the only kind of competition she deserves.
Eddie Murphy In Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave. – Not really a couple now is it?

Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake Or Rip-Off

The Day The Earth Stood Still - Horrendous remake, the writer should be slapped.
Disaster Movie
Meet The Spartans
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Speed Racer - Someone was on drugs when they filmed this. Give me the original cartoon anytime.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - George Lucas can’t need the money that bad, can he?
**Max Payne fits this category, as it is a ripoff of the video game. And a bad ripoff at that.**
***Again in the ripoff, a film that stole from at least 3 other films - Doomsday. If you missed it, be happy.***

Worst Director

Uwe Boll - Tunnel Rats, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale And Postal
Jason Friedberg And Aaron Seltzer - Disaster Movie And Meet The Spartans - And anyone expected better in these ripoff ideas?
Tom Putnam - The Hottie And The Nottie - Paris Hilton, do I need to say anything more?
Marco Schnabel - The Love Guru
M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening. – The best film to put you to sleep.

Worst Screenplay

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer - Disaster Movie And Meet The Spartans - The obvious favorites to win.
M. Night Shyamalan - The Happening
Heidi Ferrer - The Hottie And The Nottie
Doug Taylor - In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Mike Myers and Graham Gordy, The Love Guru
**Actually I don’t understand how The Day The Earth Stood Still missed this category**

Worst Career Achievement

Uwe Boll - "Germany's answer to Ed Wood" - Ed Wood was funny at least.

Such are my thoughts of the films worth of Razzie’s in 2008. Perhaps you know of a film that deserved to be on this list? Let me know because no one should need to own a DVD of films of this quality. Even if you need a Frisbee in an emergency.

Oh and here is an early prediction for 2009, Notorious will top a few of the categories here.

Movie Review: Max Payne

What can I say about Max Payne? Well perhaps I can start with the fact that this review is several days late, yes yet again because of the election. So some of you may have seen this film by now. But others may be waiting for the DVD or cable. Choose cable.

Now don’t get me wrong, the film is not bad. In fact if I had to pick one word to describe the film it would be dark. Not because of the subject matter, that’s the camerawork. The lighting, where there is any decent light, is drab and shadowy. I suppose because they are trying to set a mood. What they achieve is making the movie seem like a bore.

The film is based on a video game of the same name, and when I say based I mean they have the same title. Very little of the video game transfers over to the film. Just the motivation of the titular character, dead family, and the final scene. Everything else is more director’s license than anything else.

Like the video game the hero, Mark Wahlberg, is a cop who has serious problems. He seemingly sleeps little – as he trolls the city for clues to the person that killed his family and got away. Of course this has had a detrimental effect on his career, as he works in the dead files department. So the first 5 or so minutes of the movie are a complete waste as I’ve basically covered all of that here.

We then move on to meeting Natasha. That’s almost all you need to know about her, besides the fact she dies. The real mystery, or at least that is what you are meant to wonder about, is how she dies. In fact several people kick off at this point, each with a quasi-mysterious mannerism.

Now I will tell you this, the film does not have angels, demons, or other such creatures. Though the question is meant to be asked by the viewer. But you never get to a point of really caring about the question in the first place.

That’s the bad part. For all the action, which is fair but not gratuitous, you never really care what happens to Max or anyone else in the film. The various characters pop on and off screen just slow enough for you to know that they are not background characters. The plot keeps moving forward and you just don’t care if you missed anything prior. Because none of it is really important.

I like Mark Wahlberg. He’s come a long way in his acting, but he just not leading man material. At least not solo in a film like this. It’s not that he can’t make the moves look good, or that his acting is that bad. He just doesn’t convey interest from the viewer. Or maybe it was the writers just being lazy.

Hollywood has gotten too used to films where there is enormous back stories to work off of. Iron Man, Spiderman, X-Men, Hitman, Halo (when it comes out) and way too many television show revisionings. Because of all these films it seems the writers are just getting lazy, and this film shows it.

Is this film a waste of time? Not exactly. You won’t feel better for seeing it, nor will you feel worse. It won’t make any impact at all really. But if you have time to spare, and you have to see a movie right now it’s probably the best choice for a while.

Movie trailers for fall 2008

Ok time for a couple of quick movie previews. The following movies will be coming out later this year, and a couple of them I will preview and/or review later. But this will give you a taste of what is to be expected.

First on the list is Max Payne. This is supposed to be the movie version of a successful video game. Yes, yet another videogame converted to a movie. Now will that mean it will be good? That’s a question as while Mark Wahlberg is in the film (and he does a decent action film – see The Big Hit) they have departed from the games storyline to give it a Constantine style theme. It seems the writers never bothered to play Max Payne, or they thought the gritty New York cop on a vendetta (and more than a few painkillers) was not intriguing enough. As long as it’s better than last years Hitman video game-to-movie flop it will be successful.



Then there is the 3rd remake of the Punisher comic book. Yes another comic book to movie attempt. This one is Punisher: War Zone. Now Marvel has been trying to get this right time and again. The prior 2 tries were so bad that they can’t even be called laughable. This one looks to be a bit grittier and darker, which sounds more like the character in the comics. Will Ray Stevenson be the man to finally bring this to life or will it be another straight to DVD bargain bin write-off for Marvel? The trailer says it will work, the history says failure. More soon.



A film that will be out shortly is Bangkok Dangerous. This is the chance for Nicholas Cage to resurrect himself from the horrible films he had out earlier this year (NEXT and Ghost Rider). It looks like this time he actually did some acting, though the character and action scenes remind me of his role in the film ConAir. A hitman looking to get revenge, and paid, can be a great idea and the setting in Bangkok won’t hurt.





Of course there is one thing that serious movie fans might want to know. This is a remake, an Americanized version of a film from 2000



Moving on to something that should keep us guessing is Eagle Eye. The premise seems fresh, so I have no idea where Hollywood came up with it. Considering the low-brow, unimaginative, boring, illogical nature of most movies these days this is a big surprise. Random people are used to act on behalf of an unknown group for an unknown reason, and the Government has a hard-on to get these average joes fast. (I wonder if the writers from USA Network’s Burn Notice were involved with this?)



Now a probable winner of a film should be the next 007 movie Quantum of Solace. The new blonde and more hands on physical James Bond (Daniel Craig) did a great job in Casino Royale. This next film looks to follow on that story directly. Bond is bitter and twisted in this film, and it’s bollocks for M or anyone else in his way. A more emotional and violent Bond film, this should keep the franchise alive and well.



Well this is a film that will certainly make money. Saw V. There really isn’t much more to say. The only trailer is very unclear, beyond the fact that someone is having a very bad day.



More reviews and trailers coming soon.

Regin Over Me, Pride, Shooter - 3.9.2007.1

Time to talk a bit about movies. I’ve spoken about the upcoming remake 300 (300 Spartans at Thermoplye - 10.07.2006.1) which I hope will be good. Knowing that the backgrounds and much of the movie has been done via CGI effects is not the most motivating thought to me. But that does not preclude the film from being done well. We will see.

Going a bit forward there are a few that seem like interesting films. So far the previews look quite good for Reign Over Me, Pride, and Shooter. Going in order Reign Over Me seems the most powerful. The cast stars Mr. Don Cheadle, who I think is overlooked far too much. His performance in Hotel Rawanda was acclaimed though the film did not get the recognition it deserved. More likely most recall his supporting roles in movies such as Hamburger Hill, Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, Devil in a Blue Dress, Rosewood, Operation Swordfish and Out of Sight. You will also see him in Ocean’s Thirteen. I feel he is a rising star, and I have no doubt that his name will gain more attention in the near future. So that is a big positive for the film. The other leading star of the film is Mr. Adam Sandler in another dramatic performance. Mr. Sandler has made the transition to dramatic roles quite well and has had several solid performances in this genre.

Given the power of these two men, and Mrs. Jada Pinkett-Smith who is no mere window dressing, the stage is set. The storyline is one that many can relate to, this is especially true for those of us from NYC. It is the story of 2 old friends, one of which lost his family in a plane crash. As they reconnect they get a chance to see life from a different perspective and everything changes from there. This doesn’t appear to be a sappy movie, just a real story about the trial of life and what it takes and gives us each. Expect to hear a lot more about it.

The movie Pride stars another favorite of mine, Mr. Terence Howard. Mr. Bernie Mac is also in the film taking a more serious role than his previous films. This is another film in the growing trend of biopics, that touch on the past achievements made by various African Americans that have previously been given little recognition. I always enjoy a well-done story of an underdog surpassing expectations, as do most people. I also find it important to see films that remind us all that blatant racism is hardly a thing of the far past, and that the human spirit can overcome any obstacle.

There is no question that Mr. Howard is capable enough to perform the lead in this type of film, and that alone is enough for me. The fact that this is based on a true story, and it depicts the emergence of youths thought beyond hope to a point of self-awareness and self-respect that they did not think possible. This is a positive image that needs to be seen more. Counter to the media fueled images of Black Americans as criminals and drug dealers (I’m speaking of the music videos and cheaply made, poorly scripted, rap or hip hop starred ‘ghetto’ films) it’s important to see the true images of African Americans as regular people capable of surmounting obstacles. Perhaps this film will ring similar to Mr. Denzel Washington’s Remember The Titans, and in many ways that’s a good thing. We shall see.

As to the film Shooter, well it’s not a serious drama. At least the theatrical and television film clips don’t present it as such. It’s an action film starring Mr. Mark Wahlberg, with a supporting role by Mr. Danny Glover. Mr. Wahlberg has become a reliable and consistent action-based actor, his roles in The Italian Job and The Big Hit been obvious examples of his success. He’s picked his roles quite well, and had solid performances in each role, even in the badly done remake Planet of the Apes. While the theme of this movie has been done multiple times, recently by Mr. Wesley Snipes and Mr. Tommy Lee Jones in U.S. Marshals and Mr. Keenen Ivory Wayans in Most Wanted, it’s a good plotline. The trailer clips seem to show a film that is balanced with enough explosions and shoot-outs to entertain action fans, but enough of a plot to let it make sense.

Well those are my thoughts on the upcoming movies to hit theaters soon. I’m sure you will let me know how close to the mark I am.

This is what I think, what do you think?