2010 movies to avoid like a plague

Given that the movies that seem to have the most hype also have been on the list of movies that I think will be good in 2010, there is also a fair chance they won't match the hype and be among the list of the worst movies of 2010. But that's a gamble and I've made my bet. As for the rest of the films in 2010...

Here is my list of films that I am ABSOLUTELY sure will be horrendous wastes of time and money. I could be proven wrong, but I doubt it.

Tooth Fairy - Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson needs a new agent. He is not a great actor, never was. He was decent in action films where he didn't need to say a lot and could use his muscles often. Kind of Arnold Schwartzennager. But unlike the now Governator, Johnson has yet to build up enough action films to allow him to make these awful kids movies he seems hell-bent on starring in. Just wait for the bargain bin DVD sale.

I Love You Phillip Morris - Jim Carrey is the opposite of The Rock. We love his comedic skills. The man is funny. But put him in a serious role and you are looking at a bomb of a movie. Make that film about a prison escapee, with a gay love story at its heart, and you are looking at a film that even DVD sales won't help. But France might like it.

Cop Out - I like Bruce Willis films. He is great as a cop and authority figure. He brings a great everyman quality to the films he is in. But none of that makes him capable of making a bad film good. Oh, and Tracy Morgan just isn't that funny.

Alice in Wonderland - Yes I will stand alone on this one. I know that Johnny Depp is in the film. I know Tim Burton directed it. But people forget that both men LOVE extreme cinema that is anything but mainstream. And the story of Alice in Wonderland is really nigh incomprehensible to the mainstream as is. It will be a good art film, but no where near a commercial success.

Clash of the Titans - Fans of the original movie will be disappointed. Fans of Transformers will likely be in love with this film. Everyone else will have moments of appreciation of the CGI, and depression at the plot in this revisioned movie.

The Back-up Plan - Jennifer Lopez is the star. Do you really need another reason to avoid this film? Ok, it's about artificial insemination as the key plot device.

Wall Street 2 - A thinly veiled political message packaged in a sequel that really is well past it's prime.

Robin Hood - Russell Crowe is no Erroll Flynn. It's another film trying to improve on a universally accepted perfection in movies. The only positive is that it should be better than Kevin Kosner's try at it.

Sex and the City 2 - Did anyone really want a sequel to this rehash of a truly mediocre television show brought to the big screen?

Marmaduke - Live action versions of comic strip characters never work. Didn't Garfield end this concept?

The A-Team - I really would like to be wrong about this. I liked the 80's television show. But revisioning of television shows to fit on the big screen just don't work. At least Ben Stiller is not in this fiasco waiting to happen.

Jonah Hex - Ever hear of the comic book? I didn't think so. This is a comic book to movie conversion of a 3rd rate comic book that no one cared about 38 years ago. Even comic book fans will avoid this. And if you think the plot might help, you haven't read what the plot is.

SAW VII - When a horror movie (slasher, whatever) goes to 3-D for a sequel you just know it's all over.

Red Dawn - Another revisioned remake of an 80's film. Sure to be filled with political messages straight from the far-left field of view. The only thought that might be of interestr is how Hollywood might resolve America-bashing with a movie that is supposed to be pro-America. I really hope I am wrong on this one, but the November launch date does not give me reassurance (it's a slot only slightly better than January).

Yogi Bear - I'll say it again, live action films don't work.

The Green Hornet - Reaching way back in television time, this is a revisioned retread of the 60's show. I just can't buy Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet. Likely the writing will target campy and hit on awful. I shudder at what it will be like.

Next up are the films that are too ugly to classify as good or bad.

Wall Street 2 - what to expect

Ok, so Tiger Woods has a couple of girlfriends on the side. NO shock, so do most men with his kind of fame and wealth. If he were a rockstar or actor no one would be surprised. But this is a family matter for him, so I won't speak on the subject further. Celebrities and enetertainers deserve some degree of privacy too.

Moving on to other news I have no problem speaking about, Wall Street 2 is getting ready to hit theaters in 2010. Oh the joy. The theme of this movie? Greed is legal.

Yes, Oliver Stone has made the sequel to the very good 80's film. It will again star Michael Douglas as the powerful and successful Gordon Gekko. But this time Gekko is not the massive power broker he was in the first time. No the banks are the ultimate bad guys.

This falls directly in line with the views of extremist Stone. It also happens to be right in line with the ultra-liberal tone that Hollywood has been promoting for years now. But the question is if this will make a good movie?

Since about 2000 or so, Hollywood has increasingly made movies that are more political propodanga with filler than movies the public can enjoy. Not that politics has been something foreign to films. Dr. Strangelove is anti-war, anti-nukes, and against the cold war but it was still entertaining. Lions for Lambs, War Inc., and dozens of other recent films that no one watched in theaters of DVD are anything but entertaining.

From the sounds of what Oliver Stone has been saying, Wall Street 2 is more akin to War Inc. than the original Wall Street. It sounds as if it will be yet another film that pushes Stone's political agenda a the cost of the tickets audiences will pay. Which does not motivate me to see the film, which is a shame since I did enjoy the original.

"Wall Street can be the engine of capitalism" and create opportunity, Stone said to one student. "But they increasingly have not done that because there's more money in speculation."

That seems to sum up the view that the new film will be taking. It's a warped and skewed overly simplistic view of finance, capitalism, and Wall Street but that is fine if that is not the movie's theme. I don't want to go to a movie to debate politics, I do that for a living. I want to see a film to be entertained.

Well here is what I understand is the plot of Wall Street 2. Gekko gets out of prison and is a reformed man. He sees an implosion on the horizon and tries to warn the industry, but is ignored since he is a convict. At the same time he is trying to re-establish his relationship with his daughter. His daughter wants nothing to do with him.

His daughter is engaged to upcoming hedge-fund trader Jacob (Shia LeBouf). Jacob's boss gets killed, possibly by the top boss of the fund (Josh Brolin). Jacob wants revenge.

So Gekko decides to help Jacob in exchange for help with his daughter. Cue the laugh track, or whatever.

I'm bored just writing the synopsis. Considering the views of Stone, and Brolin, I don't get a good feeling about the film. Thinking of Gekko as a powerless good guy doesn't work for me. The fact that the simplistic acting skills of Shia LeBouf are the driving force of this movie (to attract younger moviegoers) is another strike against the film. Oh, Charlie Sheen is reported to have a cameo too.

Still the trailers are not yet out. But some stills are available.



If this were a stock, I'd buy the leap put option.

Drugs and celebrity - where is the justice

In other entertainment news it seems that the son of Michael Douglas, Cameron Douglas, was arrested last week on drug charges. Cameron Douglas, who has done some acting, faces mandatory 10 years to life for selling crystal meth.

I can understand that the Douglas family is likely very troubled by this turn of events. At the same time there is something I want to note.

There is nothing good about selling drugs. Nor should any celebrity or family member of a celebrity be allowed to trade that fame for reduced sentences. It’s an abuse that the legal system needs to end.

How many times have we heard about this celebrity or that getting away with possession of drug, guns, and various other infractions of the law? How many times has the fame of a celebrity extended to their family – especially the children of well known celebs?

I don’t limit this to just Cameron Douglas. I mean all the celebs out there. Paris Hilton, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan, and on and on. They all need to go to jail. They did the crimes and need to do the time. Because if it was you or me, rest assured that we would have been locked up and the key thrown away a long time ago.

I don’t feel bad for Cameron Douglas. He made his choice. But I will be insanely upset if he is guilty and somehow doesn’t receive the mandatory 10 years his crime is required to receive by law.