Remakes, I told you so - 1.20.2007.2

Well don’t say I didn’t warn you. Reviews are out for the re-made movie, The Hitcher. Without any shock I see that it is almost universally panned. I knew it when I first mentioned from the promo shots what I thought of the movie. The villain is far less intimidating than Mr. Rutger Hauer’s Ryder. The protagonist is now the woman (of course) and even less believable that Mr. C. Thomas Howell’s unlucky lead. Gore has replaced actual plot or interesting action. Like most of the re-makes in recent time this only serves to motivate a trip to Blockbuster for the best version.

Of course there are even new lows in the world of re-makes. It seems that the various advertising companies have lost any hope of new ideas, or at least the one that made this decision. I’m speaking of the new Orville Redinbocker Popcorn commercials. For those that don’t know, there was a real man by this name. He did own the company, and the picture on packages is his. He did many commercials for his company in the 80’s, until he died.

But dead is only a temporary setback for ad creators without vision and on a deadline. There are now commercials that have brought back a computer enhanced version of Mr. Redinbocker. That’s just sad. It says something about the company and the ad guys, and in my opinion that’s not a good thing. One thing for sure, I won’t buy their product. If they can’t respect the dead, nor their own company’s founder I have doubts on what they think of the living. Using a corpse to hock their goods is just low class, and the bottom of the barrel in my opinion. Maybe you disagree, or didn’t know. My bet is that they are counting on the fact that the youth of today have no idea that the man existed. I hope Wendy’s doesn’t follow on this poor taste bandwagon.

In more hopeful thoughts the movie Smokin Aces seems good. While it is a January film (usually not a good sign) and it does have 2 hip-hop entertainers [Ms. Alicia Keys and Common] in it (incredibly bad sign) I hope it will be good. Mr. Jeremy Piven is quite an actor, as is Mr. Ryan Reynolds, Mr. Ray Liotta, and Mr. Andy Garcia. It looks to be stylish, with some type of plot and really good music and effects. Either way I will check it out. I might get surprised and the hip-hop wanna-be actors may be good, or at least have incredibly small roles if they aren’t. Anyone want to take odds on their performances?

This is what I think, what do you think?

Worst films of 2006 - 12.27.2006.4

Now onto the Worst films. I won’t bother to describe how awful all these films are. Basically we had a slew of remakes, re-visionings, and sequels. Sadly almost every one of them was a waste of time and money, especially if you went to the theatre. It’s one thing to remake a classic, trying for a homage. It’s completely another to just copy a film with modern actors (the Omen), or make your own version that really has nothing to do with the original beyond the name (the Pink Panther, the Wicker Man). I hate when movie studios think that audiences aren’t smart – or old – enough to realize they are re-treading material.

Other losing films of the type mentioned above are The Dukes of Hazard, X-men 3, Basic Instinct 2, The Hills have Eyes, Posieden, Van Wilder 2, Ultraviolet (It’s supposed to be a futuristic Gloria), All the Kings Men, The Fast and the Furious 3 (did they have to make a 3?), The Hitcher (oops, that will be out in 2007) and others. Yes every one of the above is an idea from someone else a long time ago. Every one of these ideas was done better and more interesting the first time. At least one thing is sure, since Ms. Sharon Stone was only able to draw in 7 million with her sequel there won’t be another, and hopefully the studios will learn from that. Of course considering that the Hitcher is a remake of a C. Thomas Howell and Rutger Hauer 1986 film I think they haven’t.

Other films that you should hope you haven’t seen and won’t waste your money on renting (if you bought the DVD use it as a Frisbee for any movie on this list except the original Hitcher) :

Phat Girlz, My Super ex-Girlfriend, Larry the Cable Guy, Little Man (Possibly this years Soul Plane), Zoom, She’s the Man, Death of a President (envisioning someone killing a current living President?! Sick), John Tucker Must Die, The Break-up, Freedomland, A Good Year, and American Dreamz just to name a few.

Other copies or unending stories –
Ice Age 2, Jackass 2 (maybe people are as numb as movie producers think – please let this be the end)

Well what do you think of the lists?

Best films of 2006

Best and Worst Video Games 2006