Guitar Hero takes over television

I am sure all the gamers out there have heard this news already, but for anyone that missed this here we go. Reality television shows are here to stay, sadly, but over the past several years they have been dwindling in viewers. Shows like American Idol, Survivor and the ilk are all getting a bit old. So in a quest for television programming that requires the least effort, lowest cost, and about as much mental stimulation as sugar has nutrients a potential new craze is about to spring forward.

Guitar Hero.

Yep. The belief is that Activision will soon be announcing that the video gaming industry leading game will be hitting a television station real soon. And if that isn’t enough, expect to be able to buy tickets to watch a Guitar Hero concert in your local stadium/arena too.

Talk about the lowest common denominator. For people too lazy to actually purchase and/or play a Guitar Hero game, and too much of a couch potatoe to change a channel, the ability to watch a person play a game has now come. I can hear the Simon Cowell equivalent for this show berating someone for improperly mashing their fingers to a song that actually required talent and skill to perform in the first place.

I can’t wait until there are crowds of people screaming out ‘yellow, yellow, red, blue!’ Or better yet talk shows and pundits glibly chatting about the ‘skill’ and 'quality' of a Guitar Hero program. Probably will call the show ‘Are you a Hero?’

And I wonder what in the world the winner of this reality snore fest will receive? A trip to Disney? A box of band-aids? A spot in a television commercial for the umpteenth version of the Guitar Hero video game?

Seriously, the only thing I could imagine is that the aforementioned concert is their next option. But would you really want to pay top dollar to watch some kid mash a bunch of buttons to your favorite band? Think about it, you might pay some $40 dollars to watch someone, hopefully play correctly, a song you have on CD or a MP3 that you paid $5 for. And it isn’t even the originals you are watching.

Hell, you can go to a local bar and get more out of watching a cover band.

Do I hate reality television? Oh Yeah! Do I think that this idea is only good for the people least likely to reproduce? Our global genetic DNA pool would seriously be improved if that is the case. Do I think that if this show comes on, it’s only a matter of time before television hits the ultimate lowest common denominator of just flashing random colors on a screen? If they do, I bet the text votes will go to the color blue.

If this becomes a reality, I seriously fear for the human race. Honest.

So Adam Lambert has lost American Idol

Considering all the hype and anticipation, I’m left with the same feeling I have every year after American Idol ends. Relief and a hope that it won’t be back again.

Separate of all that though I will mention 2 things. I caught a glimpse of a woman in a bikini, and some other woman that seemed to be battling her – who then exposed a bikini. There was no sound, and I don’t watch the show so I have no idea what it was all about (I was inbetween matches at my pool league) but if that was a regular event on American Idol, I just might watch it regularly – minus the sound.

The other thing is what I have started to hear about the Lambert loss. It seems that some are saying the loss was because Lambert might be gay. Which I think is stupid.

First, as I stated earlier this month, the question of Lambert’s sexual preferences have nothing to do with his ability. For anyone to juxapose sexuality with singing is wrong. In addition to that I will add what I stated before

“Adam Lambert should not win American Idol if his sole or main qualification is the perception of his sexuality. If his current position is being bolstered or altered due to the hype and mystery of his private life, which some want to use to advance a political agenda, then he must lose. It's just that simple.”

So if the only reason some think that Lambert lost was because he is whatever he is, then that means he is not a good enough singer. Such distractions should not exist about a singer doing their job. If you can daydream about these other questions while listening to him, then he was not good enough to win.

Second, I truly believe that if it was known that Lambert was gay then he likely would have won. Because such is the nature of Hollywood and the entertainment industry these days. The Perez Hilton incident, and the reaction of the media, has made it clear that the media would rather support a bias than dare to be fair. Thus if Lamert was gay, he would have won. And that would have been just as wrong as if he lost because he was gay.

Now I realize that I have no idea how anyone on Idol sounds. So I am speaking objectively about music and not this situation. Given. But I did hear one other theory that might explain the loss of Lambert.

Because of the contracts that the winner gets, and the ability of the runner-up to get a substantial contract as well, it makes pure business sense to have the most popular guy take second. It creates hype for both singers. I creates an environment where the battle will continue at least into the first album of each, reaping tons of money for the record companies.

Because lest you forget, American Idol is about business in every aspect. The goal at every step is to find a way to make more money for record labels. That goal, and the process does not end with a winner being declared. It just goes into another phase, which really brings in the profit. Controversy therefore is beneficial.

So did Lambert lose because he is whatever his sexual preference might be? No. He lost either because he wasn’t good enough, or it makes some executive (Simon Cowell I believe) significantly more money. Some things in life are just simple.

Movie preview: Swing Vote

So I was bored today. Having finished a bunch of work on my latest project for a client I looked around cable to see what is on the television. And of course I ran across the teaser for the film Swing Vote. Be still my heart.

Yes, Hollywood is investing even more money, celebrity entertainers and time to highlight what they think is important for average Joe American to vote for. It doesn’t hurt if average Joe is a highly liberal political favorite.

Here is the video in question (which I saw when I went to see WANTED and immediately threw from my memory).



Let me see if I can guess what the film will display.

Basically this plays on the fears some have of a close election, and amplifies it to the Nth degree by making it all come down to one vote in a swing state. It would be more likely to see Sanjaya embraced by Simon Cowell as the next Elvis.

Our everyday guy is apparently a single parent (the mom must have died for him to have custody) who is undereducated, lives in a trailer, get paid minimum wage when he works (bet he is am ex-factory worker or skilled labor that was replace by a machine or a company move overseas), loves beer, and is completely apathetic to voting. In fact he has never voted once in his life, because he thinks his vote does not count.

Thankfully, and amazingly, Bud (Kevin Costner’s character – can we get more stereotypical redneck?) has a brilliant daughter who loves school and politics. She is so smart that it’s safe to say she is the brains of the family. And she believes in voting, so she registers her nay-do-well father. Come Election Day she scolds her day into voting. Of course modern technology (built overseas no doubt) is built to be fixed and so his vote does not count nor is it recorded in any way, other than he made a vote.

Now the election is eerily similar to 2000 and 2004 in that the candidates are both miserable choices. Neither is able to pull a decisive lead because the popular vote is equal for both. And in another shock, the Electoral College vote – which really decides who is President is tied. Thus this one vote, of Bud – the only person to encounter this technology glitch in the entire country – will give one candidate the reigns of the nation.

Now we have an all-star celebrity cast (of which I do not recall a single Republican) that portrays the most silly of potential candidates. We have Dennis Hopper as the Democrat. He is the popular simple spoken guy. He’s trusted, from the mid-west, probably pro-ethanol, pro-global warming, and I’d bet he’s a granddad. They might even mention how he wants to raise taxes to help with a nationalized healthcare plan which is important because his wife died of a medical issue before he became a politician.

And we have Kelsey Grammer as the Republican incumbent. His is pro-big business, moderately intelligent, and guided by his unscrupulous political aide (Stanley Tucci as a de facto Karl Rove). Note the fun scene where the daughter remarks that the aide would sell his mother – who he mentions was a very bad (read abusive) mother.

Both men are willing to subvert their ideals and pander in the most degrading ways to suck up to Bud. Bud of course is taking full advantage of all this attention, which the media learns about in no time. He uses this to get recognition he feels he always deserved, i.e. a band he always wanted to be in. Until his near-genius daughter reminds him of his moral obligation to pay attention to all the letters he is getting about why he should vote one way or the other.

Suddenly he realizes that every illegal alien needs his vote to get more government services and higher pay. And every union worker that wants more money needs him. And every other pro-liberal view in the nation. I wonder where the movie is going??

So he decides to have the 2 candidates hold a special debate. Just the 2 of them and him. This is perfect as the Democratic candidate had just had his ass handed to him by his political confidant (i.e. Senator Hillary Clinton) because he has flip-flopped at the whim of the Bud. So in the debate I bet he comes clean and espouses the virtues of all the downtrodden liberal forgotten people in America (ignoring anyone with even a slightly conservative issue). And guess who Bud votes for.

Besides the blatant and consistent bludgeoning of liberal is good, there is another thing this film makes very clear. African Americans don’t exist, Hispanics are virtually all illegal aliens, and Asians are only in China.

Seriously, look at the video. Where are there African Americans? There is just one included to make sure I can’t say there are none. Even in the backgrounds of the scenes there is a void. Though Blacks do fare better than Asians. There are none I bet.

And other than George Lopez, again just to say that it’s not completely lopsided, what odds would you give me that there is not another Hispanic that is not from Mexico and illegal in the movie??

So Hollywood really is saying that White Americans should vote, and vote liberal. Because that is the best option of the bunch. And if you aren’t White, who cares. Any other race is not as smart or important as 1 single White male, barely sober, barely with an income, and far less intelligent than a child over 25 years his junior. Makes me happy Hollywood does not run the Government, though many of them wish they did – and a few think they are legislating via the movies they make.

Is this film worth seeing? No. You can get a better motivation to vote from watching School House Rock (Yes, I’m a Bill!). Does it make a deep political statement? If you are catatonic or just woke up from a 35 year coma yes. Does it help Democrats, or help promote the media driven presumption that Republicans are evil? Well more the second part of that than the first.

If you like your politics spoon-fed to you, without a glimmer of fact or unbiased presentation, run to a theater near you. Actually crawl, because there will be no lack of seating for this film. It will fail in a way only self-important Hollywood executives with a political agenda can not imagine.

But if you must, if the cable got shut off, if your grass is dead, if lifting a bowling ball causes seizures, and if you sign your name with an X go see this movie. Then tell me if I missed the mark. Because I won’t see this movie even if I were paid (exorbitantly), strapped to a chair, and promised a bevy of wanton women afterwards.