2010 Razzie Awards predictions

Every year I find that the Razzie Awards are more on the mark and widely agreed upon than anything the Oscar Awards ever comes up with. The Oscar's inevitably select some of the least seen, least enjoyable films and give them the biggest awards. But the Razzie's stick with what the public saw (or refused to see), and what we were going to the movies for - entertainment.

Given this year the Oscar's added Avatar to it's list of nominees (which may have more than a bit to do with the political statements of the film as much as anything else). But who saw the Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, An Education, and/or A Serious Man? Besides critics and family of the various cast and crew.

Doesn't mean they aren't good films. It just means that the Oscar's don't really address what people see. But the Razzie's...

3 of the films up for Worst movie of 2010 are films I previewed/reviewed and hated. Each one was cited as a waste of your money, and an excursion into the depths of nausea that only Hollywood could create. It seems that I was spot on.

Worst Film of 2010 -

All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - I reviewed, hated it
Land of the Lost - I previewed, and saved myself the waste of life it would have required to see it
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - I reviewed it, and still am amazed that people paid money for this crap. Then again people bought pet rocks too.

Prediction - winner will be Land of the Lost. Even though it would be quite funny to see Sandra Bullock win an Oscar (she is favored for another film) and a Razzie in the same year, I think she is going to be hit with the same thing that got Eddie Murphy. Hollywood has a problem with an actor/actress that does one film that is serious, and in the same year does a film that gets them paid.

Thus Will Ferrell will be picked, signalling the absolute end of his short-lived career as a movie star.

Worst Actor

Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas -- Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
Will Ferrell -- Land of the Lost
Steve Martin -- Pink Panther 2 - I recommeneded against this film
Eddie Murphy -- Imagine That
John Travolta -- Old Dogs

Prediction - Well, to be honest I avoided all of these films. Every indication was that they were awful and likely painful to see. But I have to believe that Steve Martin will win. Because not only is he insulting as Inspector Closeu - if you have seen any of the Peter Seller originals, he is abysmal from a revisioned new viewer point of view as well.

Worst Actress

Beyonce Knowles -- Obsessed
Sandra Bullock -- All About Steve
Miley Cyrus -- Hannah Montana: The Movie
Megan Fox -- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Sarah Jessica Parker -- Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Prediction - In a crowd of horrible acting and worse films you go with what was the biggest let down. We know Beyonce can't act, and Parker gave up on the idea after cashing in with Sex in the City (movie or television show, take your pick). Cyrus is a kid, in a kid movie so there was no real acting expectation. That leaves Bullock and Fox. Fox was supposed to be sexy, an up-and-coming actress and important to the sequel. She wound up being none of the above.

Worst Remake, Rip-off (ie. revisioned), Sequel

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Pink Panther 2
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

Prediction - wow this is a tough category. Every one of these films turned my stomach. In each one the best part of the film was the end credits rolling onscreen. How do you pick the worst of true wastes of far better ideas?

GI Joe. Because this was an action figure for decades (before they got shranks to 3 inches), a fun if moronic television cartoon for decades, and thus the stuff of positive memories and fantasy. All crushed and mangled after seeing this equivalent of a purse-snatching of the public's money.

Future prediction - When the sequel comes out, and you know it will, avoid that too. It won't get better, just worse.


As a bonus this year we also get to select the worst films in the last decade. Considering the decade and the rash of politics-instead-of-entertainment films the list choices could be huge. The Razzies picked the following.

Worst Picture of the Decade

Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Gigli
I Know Who Killed Me
Swept Away

Actually I would have had Lions for Lambs and Redacted in this list. Then again, no one saw those film. War, Inc. is also another great choice, and only a handful of critics saw it (the only audience likely).

Of the Razzie choices I picked Gigli. Not only because it was horrible, but because no one can pronounce the name right. But if I had my choice in the last decade I'd go with Capitalism by Michael Moore. Because the very subject this multi-millionaire rails against is the thing that provided his wealth, is the purpose of the film in a theater, and the freedom to be a hypocrit.

Worst Actor of the Decade

Ben Affleck
Eddie Murphy
Mike Myers
Rob Schneider
John Travolta

While Eddie Murphy will likely win - he does have more roles to pick on since he has played more roles in a single movie than most other actors play in a decade - I don't think he should. I'd go with Myers. Affleck occasionaly does something decent, and other than Gigli has not been gut-wrenchingly bad. Travolta, even in BattleField Earth, is interesting to watch. Schneider couldn't make a good film if James Camerron centered a film around him. Thus Myers is the only one that really was supposed to be interesting and completely failed. Plus who didn't hate how he killed Dr.Suess's beloved Cat in the Hat.

Worst Actress of the Decade

Mariah Carey
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Jennifer Lopez
Madonna

Talk about a list of women whose main talent is their body. Seriously, Lopez is better known for her ass and who is getting to bump it than acting (and rightly so). Lohan is best known for being a drunken lush. Carey and Madonna at least can sing, though when was the last big hit for either?

Hilton is a special category. Her only claim to fame is she inherited so much money that everyone can get a peice of it (and her for that matter) and she will still be wealthy. The only redeeming quality of Hilton is her money.

But I guess the winner will be Carey. Not that any of the women on the list have more talent, or were in any degree better actresses. It's just that Carey broke an unspoken rule: If you have no ability, but look great, shut up and just walk sexy (in tight clothes) as much as possible. It's the only reason the movie Catwoman made any money (though Halle Berry does have acting skills).

Upcoming films to avoid like the plague

So we know some of the upcoming movies that I would recommend (based on the trailers, actors, and plots as far as I can tell). But perhaps as critical is to know what to avoid in the theaters. Nothing is as painful as the thought that you just spent $30 a person to see a film that made you understand how a rat feels as it flees a sinking ship.

In the past couple of years Hollywood has flooded the theaters with these substandard, cheap, not-worthy-of–DVD purchase films. I suppose Hollywood exes expect that the law of numbers says they should make enough money on at least one of these films in the first week to justify making them all.


My advice, just avoid them. Unless you happen to be stuck on a sinking ship without a life raft in the middle of the ocean in shorts, in the middle of winter, can’t swim, sharks in the water, at midnight on a moonless night, and are paralyzed from the neck down. Otr am I being too subtle?

Pink Panther 2


The perfect example of what I mean. Please, someone in Hollywood, stop whomever is greenlighting these movies. Peter Sellers is dying all over again. Steve Martin is not funny, his accent is insulting, his physicality is like watching a 6 year old do Swan Lake. Didn’t the first film flop bad enough? I had thought so but it seems I am wrong. Why does Hollywood want to punish the public?

Really readers, go rent a copy of any of the older and far superior Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies. You’ll feel better for it and save money too.

I hate to say this next one but

Star Trek (XI)


I am a fan of the original series. I loved watching James Tiberius Kirk, Spock, ‘Bones’ McCoy and the rest. So I was anticipating this film since I heard about it. I wasn’t even put off when I heard that the kid from Harold & Kumar was going to be Sulu. But the first trailer I see now (bootleg as it is) does not inspire me.

I don’t get the thrill of Kirk, not the intellect and dedication of Spock. McCoy looks interesting. Who knows about Uhura, Sulu, and Checkov. Scotty is far too giddy.

It’s too soon to say this is a complete mess. But from what I can gather off this trailer, they may have ruined the franchise. Which really sucks. Until I see a better trailer, this movie is on my don’t watch unless in interrogation list. A real shame.

The Spirit


Every reason that made Sin City work, fails in this film. I like Samuel Jackson but his character in this film just doesn’t catch. The focus on women is a distraction. It makes me believe that the movie studio knows that this film won’t work on it’s own merits, thus go with the sex always sells tactic. A very bad sign.

I’m not drawn into the movie, not enticed. Not that I every liked The Spirit. This may well be one graphic novel too much. The transition from comic graphic novel to film isn’t making it. I just hope it doesn’t affect the Watchmen in a negative manner.

So the good news is that there are more films coming up to watch than not. Though I tend to ignore most of the garbage, it generally doesn't deserve the attention my blogs provide. But the final verdicts are far from in.