Fall 2008 broadcast television season

Next week starts the new television season. New shows and many old ones will be back, seeking to gain your attention. Now I rarely watch broadcast television these days because the general tone is mind-numbing programs meant to keep you in one place while you get to see the television commercials that are the real important point. But what will this season bring?

Well on Monday the big winner is the return of the Sarah Connor Chronicles. The continuation of the Terminator movies in a TV format. This should also receive and give a boost to the up-coming Terminator movie that takes place after the machines have made their first strike.

Of course there is Monday Night Football. Or you can watch celebrities dance.

For Tuesday hands-down House is the winner. This show has a great lead actors, intelligent writing, and is bitingly sarcastic. All winning parts in a television show to me. But this might be a bit too high-brow for some.

That means in the same time slot you can get comatose watching the new version of 90210 – which I despise – or families taking on questions about each other in a ‘revisioned’ family-safe version of the Dating Game. I’d rather watch the original Dating Game re-runs than these 2.

After that you have the choice of going to sleep, watching more celebrities dance, or try on The Menatlist. The Menatlist is basically a broadcast version of Monk, without the neurosis and adding in a lot more guilt. It may be good, but I always tend to prefer the originals to copycats.

Wednesday is the perfect night to work overtime, learn how to play GO, or revisit the coma inducing qualities that television writers these days excel at. Maybe if you are a complete car fanatic you might want to watch one episode of the new Knight Rider program. But I would suggest reading Wuthering Heights. You’ll get the same type of thrill.

On Thursday there is the chance to see CSI. With the addition of Laurence Fishburne there are so many interesting storylines that can be tapped into, especially if he becomes a serial murderer. But before that comes on, you can always have a late dinner.

Still some just will insist on watching TV from 8 til 9. So that means Ugly Betty or Smallville. But really, why not catch up on politics, or learn about investing. You’ll do better and save more brain cells.

On Friday you have just enough time to see Everybody Hates Chris, get dressed, and go out for the night. If you are sitting in the home and watching the drivel on TV this night you have to be 80. It’s the perfect time to go to the gym and excercise off the extra pounds you gained mind-melding with the couch earlier in the week.

Saturday you can watch college football, or fix the house like your significant other has been bugging you about. Again if you are in during this night you really have no life. Go bowling, or watch the grass grow if you hate football.

Sunday has 60 minutes and Sunday Night Football. The Simpson’s are too old, King of the Hill is not worth missing the opening kick off, Family Guy is good but can be caught on re-runs at Cartoon Network, and American Dad is too on and off.

Now later in the season Lost will return. I don’t see the excitement. Scrubs should be worth the time even on a new channel. Fear anything on the CW, and CBS as no winners coming in late.

24 is sure to be a great television show, and well worth the time. American Idol will sadly return to lower the collective IQ’s of America. Such is the fate of ‘reality TV’. Law & Order is a constant comfort, and a safe bet.

So this is my suggestion overall. Stop watching so much television. If 5 or 6 days out of the week you are watching broadcast TV you are in trouble. But if you have to watch something try this.

Monday – football of course.
Tuesday – Eureka
Wednesday – Mythbusters
Thursday – read a book, go out, or catch up on politics until time for CSI
Friday – Just go out
Saturday – enjoy real life, maybe have friends over for football and poker
Sunday – football and get some sleep.

Now this is not the perfect schedule. There is too much football. But it’s about as much television as anyone really needs. If you want to round out the missing or in-between hours I suggest the news.

Video games, a good buy or good bye America? - 7.3.2007.2

It’s interesting how video games are acknowledged as one of the fastest growing forms of entertainment and yet slapped down as being the leading cause of the downfall of civilization. The AMA wanted to say it causes addiction, various politicians have jumped on bandwagons from time to time to say games are too violent. Meanwhile Hollywood finds it to be a source of quality movie fodder and Wall Street has rewarded shrewd investors that have seen the potential.

It’s like one hand can’t see what the other is doing. I don’t understand how Wall Street analysts can say that companies like Electronic Arts deserve an overweight rating, and then also says

While we believe the current video-game cycle is likely to see accelerating industry growth over the next 24-months, we view the risk-reward for the sector as neutral in the near-term and look instead toward 2008 as the key inflection year for the industry.

I mean, it’s the summer. Of courser the near term is weak. The Christmas holiday season is the big push for virtually all software companies. Yet the outlook matches estimates that interactive gaming will out perform all music sales and will approach movie ticket sales soon.

But for an industry that makes so many, so much money it’s downplayed as something for kids. They ignore any of us who have grown up with video games and play them now in our 40’s. The games are constantly assaulted, but a movie based on the game is fine. The movies target the 21-35 year olds, contain violence on par with a Terminator meets Leatherface scale, and no one blinks an eye.

Where are the protests about Bloodrayne, or Hitman (movie will be out this fall - looks good too), or Resident Evil (the final story, Apocalypse, will ber out towards the end of this summer. Alice kicks butt.). Actually I’m glad there aren’t (well except for Bloodrayne which was pretty bad). But the point is I’m tired of being told, as a grown consumer of video games, that I can’t play XYZ because it is too violent to be made. I’m tired of being told that the government needs to stick their hands into what can and cannot be made. [Like anyone can name one thing the government regulates well] All the while Wall Street and politicians make money while being the monkey on my back.

Maybe it’s just me. But some need to back up, plug in, and blast a few zombies. I’m sure they will feel better. Thanks for listening to me rant. Now I’m off to find a few orcs to crush.

Want half? Have time? Fear the Barcode and a really sick guy - 3.27.2007.2

Time for some odd bits, and stuff I missed speaking about earlier. I’ll start with something for the religious readers. It seems that people in Russia don’t like barcodes, or more specifically the barcodes that are on their pension checks and passports. Why would a barcode cause such a reaction? Well when you live in a town that means God loving, anything that might hint of the satanic is just not going to fly, or so you might expect. And just as you would guess the barcodes on the passports and pension checks have the mark of the beast on them. So the good villagers won’t touch these items.

Now I have to wonder, did some bureaucrat guess that this town would reach like this, and figured there was some money to be had or saved by having the code read as it does? If not this is one heck of a coincidence, or providence if you prefer. It does make me think of one thing though. As slow and boring as it is where I am living now, I’m still more active than what it must be to have nothing better to do than read the barcode numbers on anything. But I’d guess that’s better than watching the grass grow. Don’t you feel better about where you live now?

Moving back across the ocean to home I am further impressed with this town because there hasn’t been a report of anyone getting arrested on the same charges as a man in Duluth, Minn. Now what could one guy do that would make me nervous? The guy was convicted of having sex with a dead deer. Yes a dead deer. I don’t know what part of that is worse, that he had sex with an animal or that it was dead. Either way this is not a neighbor I would want. At 20 years of age you would imagine that he could do better. But obviously he has a problem. A huge problem. I don’t think I need to say more than that.

Going back overseas, to Germany this time, I found something that may be one of the best solutions I’ve heard of for dividing assets in a divorce. A man seems to have felt that since is soon-to-be ex-wife wanted half of the house; he would give her just that. Exactly half. He went to the house, which was a one story building, and took a chainsaw to it. Cut down the middle he then picked up his half and moved it to where he was staying. Now his ex-missus may not be pleased but I doubt she could complain. He left her half right where it was. Perhaps the only divorce horror story I’ve ever heard that was better is that a guy paid his alimony, which was quite large, in pennies. Hey it’s legal tender. Still either option is pretty unique. It just reminds me why it’s cheaper to be single. Anyone know a better story than these?

For those with a bit more time, there is a site I noticed that you might want to visit, or maybe you already did. The site at livescience.com asks what the best time travel story is and allows you to rate several choices. It’s not the biggest selection of time-travel stories, but it does include Kurt Vonnegut, H. G. Wells [the book is best, the recent remake was so-so], the movies 12 Monkeys, Back to the Future, Planet of the Apes [the original was 1000x better than the remake], and Groundhog Day among others. My pick is Groundhog Day. You can choose whichever you prefer.

Of course the list misses a lot of stuff, like A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Timecop, Terminator, Star Trek 4, Time’s Arrow, Army of Darkness, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Butterfly Effect [I mean the story NOT the movie], and The Philadelphia Experiment to name a few I can think of off the top. My top 3 – Army of Darkness, Terminator, and Groundhog Day. And you?

This is what I think, what do you think?