2010 Razzie winners

It's now official. The winners of the worst that Hollywood offered in 2009 have been identified and given their Razzie honors they richly deserved.

The list of movies should not be a surprise to most. Some of the top money films of 2009 filled the lists and the only real shock is that people flocked to the films in the first place.

Starting things off is one of the films I really hated and a source of controversy

Worst Picture – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Director – Michael Bay, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

This beat out my pick of Land of the Lost. Still, I did mention

I reviewed it, and still am amazed that people paid money for this crap. Then again people bought pet rocks too."

Worst Actor – All Three Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience

Enough said there. Though I still think the hatch job Steve Martin did on Pink Panther 2 would have killed Peter Sellers if he wasn't dead already.

Worst Actress – Sandra Bullock, All About Steve

What were the odds of Bullock taking both a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year? I thought she would be a close runner up, but I admit I was again wrong.

Worst Supporting Actor – Billy Ray Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie

Worst Supporting Actress – Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe

Worst Screen Couple – Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, All About Steve

Worst Remake Rip-Off Sequel – Land of the Lost

Did you really think this bomb of a movie wouldn't win some Razzie? I picked GI Joe in part because I thought Land of the Lost would win the worst picture award. Neither was worth the time to see, or the film it was made with.

Worst Pictures of the Decade – Battlefield Earth

Definitely a bad movie. But there were so many more that deserved this title even more. Still of the horrendous choices J-lo has to feel a bit better that she missed this award.

Worst Actor of the Decade – Eddie Murphy

Honestly I disagree with this. Given his last several films belong on Pluto along with the film of the same name. But the man has talent. Even in his horrible films he plays multiple roles, and usually at least 1 or 2 are decently done. And his work in Dreamgirls really should have raised him up a notch on the competition.

I stand by picking Mike Meyers for destroying the legacy of Dr. Suess.

Worst Actress of the Decade – Paris Hilton

While I gave this to Mariah Carey, there is no question that even her acting does have more talent than Hilton - barely. But Hilton has a lot of money. You would think she would have paid to ensure she didn't win. Then again, maybe she paid to make sure she did, since this will be the only award she ever wins based on her "talent".

Well I didn't do so well this year overall. I missed quite a few film predictions, though several matched my previews, reviews, and special mentions. I don't feel bad though. When it comes to this low on the scale of entertainment, they are all mired in muck.

List of 2009 movies - quality and money

Well it's that time of year again. The time when everybody creates a top 10 or best of list for 2009. And of course I will throw in my thoughts to the mix.

In terms of movies there isn't a lot to say. Most of the drivel from Hollywood is what we have been getting for quite some time now. Half thought out revisioned remakes of ideas done far better in the past. That goes for the revisioned comic books, movies, television shows and books that all hit the silver screen this year. But, against all odds there were a few movies that were actaully worth the money.

1. Watchmen - How could you not see this film? It was the rare exception of Hollywood taking a great story (from a comic graphic novel) and not revisioning it. The result was a beautiful and shocking twist on the concept of what is a superhero.

2. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - the kids are almost all grown up. The film continues the saga of Potter and friends, and it's still an interesting fresh movie several films into the series. The acting continues to improve and the story is modeled well after the books.

3. Angels and Demons - How can you go wrong with Tom Hanks and Ron Howard in a movie based on a Dan Brown book? It wasn't the DaVinci Code, but it sure beat the flood of films this year.

4. Sherlock Holmes - Yes I know it's not out yet. But I'm willing to bet on the acting ability of Robert Downey Jr. In addition his choices of films has been among the best in the industry. movie trailers can lie (and often do) but I'm willing to go with the talent and say this will make the cut.

And those are my top movies of 2009. But if you were wondering, here are the movies that made the most money (which has nothing to do with the quality of the film):

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - a movie only matched in its stupidity by the amount of CGI onscereen at any time. This is proof that hype can overwhelm quality if you throw enough money at a marketing campaign. $402 million

Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince - Number 2 on my list, it brought in $301 million. Proof that quality can make money too.

Up - Parents love to take kids to animated films. This one happened to be worth the time as well. $293 million

The Hangover - the surprise hit of the year. I never saw it, it seemed to sophmopric to me. But it brought in $277 million so there must be something to it. Likely to produce a sequel of some sort next year.

Star Trek - This revisioned make-over of the classic original television series was lauded long before it hit a single screen. But after seeing the film I found it more stilted than Shatner doing poetry. If this is the future of sci-fi I feel really bad for the next generation. $257 million. Revisionist sequel guaranteed.

A couple of other notable film revenues for the year:

Twillight: New Moon - just a question, has anyone over the age of 25 seen this film? No one I know over 25 has. $256 million and another film sure to come.

X-men Origins: Wolverine - Destroyed a great idea and character for big money. The only thing good about this film is the payday it made for Hollywood. But a sequel will happen to continue the pain. $179 million

Fast and Furious - Even Vin Diesel can't save a bad idea. Though it did make enough to guarantee Deisel will continue to star in a few more films. $155 million

GI Joe Rise of Cobra - Hype wins again. An insulting film that makes you want to see Wolverine again. Only exceeded in stupidity and boredom levels by Transformers. Sequel will happen even though anyone above 6 will cringe. $150 million

Angels & Demons - It made a respectable $133 million. Not bad for a sequel, though more was expected.

Terminator Salvation - Not the best continuation of the series. Christian Bale made a good John Connor, but the rest of the film was lazy and as bleak as the future it redises in. But the story ain't over yet. $125 million

Watchmen - Number 1 on my list only made $107 million. Perhaps it was just too much for audiences to take in. Especially compared to the low-brow low-quality films that topped the money list.

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail - Love or hate Perry 2 things are true. He is the biggest boost to getting Black actors in movies since Sidney Poitier and he makes money. What will Madea do next? $90 million

Michael Jackson's This Is It - The last tribute to the King of Pop. $72 million and it really isn't even a film.

Land of the Lost - People went to see this? $49 million

Notorious - The worst thing about this film is it probably made enough money to spawn equally bad expoitive cash grabs. $36 million and I have to wonder how doing anything (including sleeping) wasn't better than the film.

Pink Panther 2, Old Dogs, Halloween 2 (revisioned remake), SAW VI, Fame (revisioned remake) - I'm just amazed that none of these films, though all bad, did better than Notorious. I really hope that doesn't mean a trend of dead rapper movies.

Well that's my list, what do you think? Did I miss anything?

Transformers 2 - controversy or not?

Transformers 2 is now in theaters, so the question of whether the hype is equal to the film is about to be answered. But setting aside the lack of logic, the overabundance of CGI and explosions, and the failure to have a script worthy of the Saturday morning versions this was created from, there is a big question.

Is having a CGI robot speaking ebonics a take on Black culture and, even in the most innocent of ways, making fun of African Americans?

This is the growing question from the film. Many fans that have seen the movie (which I have not) believe that it does, others do not. But what I have read leads me to believe that this is another instance of Hollywood sticking to what it knows best – stereotypes in bad taste.

“Skids and Mudflap, twin robots disguised as compact Chevys, constantly brawl and bicker in rap-inspired street slang. They're forced to acknowledge that they can't read. One has a gold tooth.”

So the robots are deep into hip hop. Which could mean anyone, since fans of hip hop reach from Beverly Hills to Japan to the Bronx. But how often have you seen a character in a movie that speaks “rap inspired street slang” that isn’t Black? How many movies can you recall ever having a character with a gold tooth (or teeth) that were anything but African American? Add to this the connection the major media makes between rap and violence (which is a natural conclusion), and African Americans (which is not).

So is this a caricature of African Americans? Sounds like it. In fact some are relating these characters to another CGI major movie character that inflamed millions. Jar Jar Binks. They are being called Jar Jar Bots.

How do some defend these characters?

“They don't really have any positive effect on the film," she [Tasha Robinson, associate entertainment editor at The Onion] said. "They only exist to talk in bad ebonics, beat each other up and talk about how stupid each other is.”

Sounds like most rap music videos. And who is the lead minstrels in those music videos?

This disturbs me since any association some might make to African Americans is to 2 cowards, that are illiterate, eternally distracted by the useless, and are worthless. Would you like to be referred to in an association like that? I sure don’t.

“If these characters weren't animated and instead played by real black actors, "then you might have to admit that it's racist," Robinson said. "But stick it into a robot's mouth, and it's just a robot, it's OK."

Perhaps the best way to consider if this is making fun of African Americans in a negative way is if we substitute what the characters are portraying. Let’s say that instead of rap, they went with country music. Instead of street slang they speak with a Southern drawl. And instead of the gold tooth we have a confederate flag.

So in effect we have two illiterate, cowardly (since they avoid all fights), dumb, Southern brawlers. What might be identified as the Southern inbred hillbilly redneck stereotype – like Ricky Bobby. Still sound like a fun character, something that you and your friends can laugh at? Would you laugh if you were in the deep South? Would you still like it if foreigners heard your accent and compared you to these characters?

Yes it’s a movie. And movies often use a stereotype to convey thoughts that are in the societal mindset. But the negative stereotypes really don’t need to be reinforced. Especially on an international level. And saying that it’s just a movie, is akin to saying a Nazi flag is just a decoration.

You may disagree, but for me it is just one more reason not to see this film.

The summer movies of 2009

Written by Michael Vass

The season is upon us, and Hollywood is ready. Well they hope they are at least. Because this year the summer season of blockbusters and mega-hits has consolidated into a morass of retreads, prequels, and revisioned ideas. And the timing is perfect, since this is also a summer of layoff and economic peril.

Hollywood is not known for the chances it takes, at least not in the last decade or so. Rather than risking truly entertaining the masses (or creating unimaginative embarrassments) we will be getting more of the same. But that is not always a bad thing.

So I will list, in order of my preference from best to worst, the movies that will hit a theater near you.

Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince



The series has been solidly entertaining. It’s stayed mostly true to the books, and has kept an edge that both adults and kids can enjoy. The actors have grown in their abilities and the storyline. This may be one of the best of the series.

Angels & Demons



Dan Brown can write. There is no question about that. Ron Howard can direct slugs and make them a spectacular adventure. And Tom Hanks has become the leading actor of our generation. The combination was a phenomenal hit in their first collaboration. There is nothing less that I would expect in this second showing.

The Taking of Pelham 123

I already discussed my thoughts on this remake starring John Travolta and Denzel Washington. This should be a tour de force. Definitely a must see, from what I can tell.

The next few films start the trend of either big hits or complete failure. The stories that these films are based on are well loved and rich in history. Because of fan devotion they will either get it right and we all will love them, or they will be so bad that DVD sales won’t even help them break even.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine



As I have said before, a revisioned story, lots of action and glitz. Will it work? Iffy. The trailer has its good and bad points. As does the plot it seems. Will it be what fans have waited for? Time will tell.

Star Trek



Even more action and glitz, the word to describe this film is revisioned. Normally that spells doom for movie-goers. And if the Spock in this movie is any indication there will be an uproar of despair. But then again, it could be like Transformers and keep everyone’s eyes so busy their brain won’t notice if it is bad or good.

Terminator: Salvation



Can this work without the Governator? Will Christian Bale improve on the John Connor role? Will this revisioning live up to the story we all have come to love? There is just no way to know right now.

As for the rest of the films of the summer, well the list gets really dicey from here on.

Public Enemies

I already previewed this film. Johnny Depp is careful in picking his roles, so this should be good. The question is will anyone care about a gangster from America’s past?

Inglorious Basterds

Another film I previewed. Quentin Tarrantino means this will be a curse driven film. Brad Pitt means that it will draw women. WWII should mean that guys will want to see it. But the combination still leaves me with doubts. This may not work, at least not in any way that a fan of any of the above will enjoy.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

They aren’t American heroes anymore. They aren’t cartoons. And there is little hype behind the film. Either it’s been so revisioned that no one wants to talk about this film, or they did a great job of keeping expectations down. Likely this will be a failure. There really isn’t much left of what fans loved about this to see on the big screen. But the volume of explosions and slow motion Ninja fights should be distracting enough for even the least MTV loving among us.

Transformers 2

I didn’t like Shia Lebouf in the first film. I hated the first film in fact. It was stupid, filled with plot holes, and revisioned to death. This second film intends to take all those things and amp them up to the nth degree. Last time I waited to see this on DVD, this time I’ll wait for it to be on free cable.

But as always, there is a wildcard in the summer movie season. This year it may well be

District 9



Based on the above video you can tell a couple of things. Like this is clearly about Apartheid. It’s a way of telling a story about human suffering in a format that is unusal at best. It’s kind of like the movie (and television show) Alien Nation, but without the American sensibilities and imagined democracy. This may be a sleeper film. It’s not action packed, or filled with explosions. But it has a message, and it is hands-down the most original film of the summer season. Plus the director is Peter Jackson. Which means it will be visually captivating if nothing else.

The movies of 2009

With 2008 quickly coming to an end it's time to look forward to 2009 and the films we can expect to see. So far several of the biggest movies look to be no better than the fare presented to us in 2008. Hollywood seems to have forgone entertainment for quick easy bucks. But we can hope that at least this time they might gwet some of these retreads right.

What we do know for sure is that there will be at least 4 movies that are sequels, 4 that are based on comic books, graphic novels and/or cartoons. There will also be at least 2 movies based on video games. Originality seems to be dead.

Starting with cartoons and comic books we have Dragonball. Based on the original manga, this japanese sensation has taken the world by storm. Dragonball (in which I include Dragonball Z) is the most watched cartoon in the world, with an estimated 64 million fans across the world. That also puts it far above shows like Seinfeld, Friends, American Idol, Survivor and so many other television shows. So expect this to be completely screwed up, sadly. Even worse since Chow Yung Fat is in it.





All the better trailers got pulled. Sorry.

Next on the list will be Watchmen. I've discussed this previously. You will want to see this. From everything I can tell this is a near literal translation of the graphic novel, which means an experience that truly will be entertaining by definition.



Then there is GI Joe. A decent cartoon and previously done as an animated film before they became all the rage. This will be live action like Dragonball. The potential is there for a good film, though the characters and storyline are being changed. Instead of all Americans it will be international and include a bad guy that was a former American GI Joe. Thank Hollywood for that bit of tarnish.

Best I could find is a discussion of the cast if that helps. I hate presenting fan fiction instead of a trailer.



Then there are the sequels. Lots of them.

Wolverine is of course on top of the list. As one of the most popular X-Men ever, and as personafied by Hugh Jackman expectations are high. It looks like this group of writers actually read the source comic books and got it right.



Another talked about trailer is Fast and Furious. With the prior 2 movies being bombs, and with the assurance that Paul Walker cannot handle a film lead on his own, Vin Deisel is back. So is Michelle Rodriguez. Of course the fact that both have had problems being bankable may have more to do with this version. Does that mean it will be good?



Another sequel with lots of cars and following up a prior theme is Transformers 2. The first film was short on plot, full of holes, and stupid. But it made money. What can we expect from the first sequel (of undobtedly many more). This is possibly a fan made trailer. Can't be quite sure.



But I can be sure of this next trailer. Terminator 4: Salvation. With Christian Bale who is a very good actor. No more Governator though. Still it looks decent if not a bit gritty. This John Connor looks far better than the one in the 3rd film too. Should be quite the film, and a secure box office smash.



And more of a prequel than sequel is the new Star Trek movie. From what I have seen so far I am unimpressed. Maybe younger fans that have never seen the original might like it. Fans of Star Trek: Enterprise might like it. Fans of Voyager could like it. But not anyone else I think. Unless there is a lot more to the film than what the trailer hints at.



And then there are the video game movies. Honestly the video games today are more like movies than the movies. And of better quality. But occasionally we get something good. Here are the 2009 choices.

Halo

As best as I can tell this is what the movie may look like and contain. There are a slew of fakes out there but this seems authentic. And if it is real it starts kind of slow. But it definitely give the impression that if this is how the movie starts, it will just get really crazy and fast from there.



Then there is the Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. Another good game with an interesting trailer for the theaters.



And then there is the classic game Legend of Zelda. While the movie is focused on the original game in the setting it seems to also have deviated quite a bit too. But there have been numerous versions of the game in the last 20 years so a bit of mixing is to be expected. This will likely be very family friendly with at least one love story in it for the ladies. Will it be worthy of the title?



Continued in part 2