White Chicks 2 - a reality you never wanted

It’s amazing to see Hollywood in action sometimes. Not because of the glamour or the impressive style that is normally splashed about. I’m talking about the business mentality (or arguably lack thereof).

Only Hollywood execs could look at a film that was clearly not a fan favorite and decide that it is deserving of a sequel. Based solely on the profit margin that they see the film capable of making. It is the same reason that reality television is so popular, and why conversion films (books or cartoons or comic books to movies are the latest trend) dominate the screens.

Quality is no longer a motivating force. Originality is far from the minds of those that decide what gets made. Rather the though of having a film with lots of fast action, a few explosions, and a couple of cute chicks is preferred over a plot, acting ability, or visual imagery.

Thus news of the sequel to the boring, poorly done, Wayans production – White Chicks – has hit the air waves. Yes we will get another chance to see Marlon and Shawn Wayans in White-face and gender bending. I know that everyone is just drooling to pre-order their tickets.

Was the film White Chicks funny? Not really. The acting good? Sorry to say it but Marlon has improved to now be considered a B-actor, Shawn has yet to get that far. So no, the acting wasn’t stand-out. Was it original or different? Again, no. So is there any reason for this film to have a sequel? Yes, just one. The film doubled its cost. So it is a success and that is plenty of reason for a Hollywood exec.

I like the Wayans family. I think they are one of the most talented families in Hollywood. They have several siblings that have grown in ability and have been able to make some decent films, with a couple that were really good. I love the fact that they involve every member of the family in their movies, from directing to writing to cameras to acting. They cover it all with family and friends.

But that is not reason enough to promote the sub-standard fare that has been hitting theaters for years now. Obviously Damon and Keenan have made their names. Many others in the family are secure in their efforts as well. The big push has been for the younger Wayans to get their chances at the brass ring. Which is why Marlon and Shawn have gotten so many chances. Too bad there is so little to push.

Seriously, think about it. The Wayans family has found and promoted several great artists. They found Jim Carrey, Jaime Foxx, Jennifer Lopez, and a few others. But they all had talent. They had something to build on. Marlon and Shawn, Shawn especially, just don’t deserve the big push. They just aren’t that good. They are supporting characters at best, which is no small achievement and will keep them well paid all their lives.

The fact that White Chicks is getting a second shot gives me a chill. Because films like Little Man might also get that option as well. And audiences need that kind of torture about as much as we need to be forced to see Soul Plane.

But the law of returns and no thought movie making is what Hollywood loves these days. I almost would be surprised if a transforming robot were in the film, along with lots of CGI scenes. It wouldn’t make sense to be in the film, but it would get attention and raise ticket sales. And that really is all that matters these days.

It’s a waste of time. It is a sad departure for the Wayans family, and the continuation of a trend for Hollywood. At least the Wayans have the excuse that they are supporting family and helping one another. Hollywood is just trying to scrape a couple of pennies together to get a third.

Can the Wayans make it on VH1

**This post can also be seen at All American Blog, where I am a contributing author.**

Do we need another celebrity reality series? Is there any reason for another ‘reality’ program of any sort? Obviously network television executives think so. And one of the upcoming programs has potential. That is the potential to by abysmally bad, or astoundingly good. My bet is towards the bad, and mark my words, there is no middle ground.

Why are there so many ‘reality’ programs? They are cheap. They are dumb. They embarrass, in general, individuals and more commonly these days’ celebrities. The first 2 reasons are attractive to networks because it means they are easy to profit off of. No real sets, smaller crews, no writers (sort of), and no debates on renewing contracts. But all the profits of a successful show even if it’s only in the lower half of all programs on television.

The last reason is self-defining. The public loves to watch entertainers and celebrities fall. Add into the mix the fact that these shows tend to emphasize the bottom tier of notables, those with lesser or barely existent talents and the envy gives way to mean spirited laughter at their expense. That’s the honest answer why most watch these things. It’s not humor with, but at those on the program. It’s the most base and scraping the bottom of the barrel common denominator in television since it was invented.

This reminds me of what Senior Drill Instructor Sgt. Williams used to call television, ITV. Meaning idiot television. 20 years after the fact he is more correct than ever before.

But there are moments of real human interest. Like when Flava Flav would up in a relationship with Bridgette Nielsen, who would have guessed that? Or that Christopher Knight would wind up marrying model Adrianne Curry. But such real and warm moments are fleeting.

Then there are the programs made to emulate the reality of life, with a twist. Like the show Entourage. I’ve never seen it, so I have no clue on its appeal or quality. But I trust the multiple sources that state it’s wonderful. Even moreso because it seems that the Wayans’ family will be involved with a similar (possibly rip-off) version of the program. You know you are doing well in Hollywood when others copy what you are doing.

Now the word is that this will be on VH1. And thus we see how it could be great or horrendous and nothing in-between. VH1 LOVES celebrity ‘reality’ programs. They love to talk about anything involving un-scripted celebrity life. Entourage is right in that vain. And as one blogger mentioned (Whudat.com) if it’s about the lives of the various Wayans clan that could be interesting.

But on the other side are the issues. VH1 is owned by Viacom, the company responsible for the programming at Black Entertainment Television (BET) for years. VH1 is home of the various Flava Flav programs like Flava of Love. To say it succinctly, Viacom has shown a repeated, company wide, ideology of portraying African Americans in the worst light possible.

Add to that that the last several project headed by Shawn Wayans, Lil Man and White Chicks, have neither been the most successful or highest quality to come out of the family. While there is a relationship with Viacom (the old WB program headed by Shawn and Marlon is shown regularly on BET) that is not to say it’s a great one. And if this Entourage-esque program is just their written work, given the standards and expectations of Viacom, horror seems a big potential.

Now I have nothing against the probably most successful Black family in television and movies. I like the work that Keenan and Damon have done, generally. There’s even been one or 2 things that Shawn and Marlon have done that was of some interest. And I love the fact that they provide more work for more African Americans and minorities than roughly a dozen other programs or films, in front of the camera and behind it.

But I still have reservations. Will I see what the program is like when it’s announced? Surely. Will I be happy to know that they are employing so many that every other studio and Production Company seems to be oblivious to, definitely. Would I look at the minor characters and sideline people for up and coming stars? Without doubt, as the family has a knack for finding and developing talent everyone else ignores. [Where did Jim Carrey, Jennifer Lopez, Tommy Davidson, and Jamie Foxx all come from?]

So I will wait and see what VH1 goes with. I hope for a great show, which is quite possible. But I also will steady myself if Viacom is true to its unspoken corporate policy and the program is horrendous. At least we know what the odds are.