Selling sex - in book form

Sometimes a catchy title just perks the interest. No matter if it's for a movie, a book, or an article. You just want to know more. So when I saw the article called "Why Women Really Have Sex" I had to stop.

The first thought that has to pop into your mind is, because they are alive? I mean it's not a big philosophical question. It's kind of like eating and breathing. But I just had to see what a book with this title was about.

The article, essentially more of a 'go buy this' than a review, detailed that the reasons women have sex is far more complex than I could imagine. Which could be true since I am a man. But I doubted it.

Reading the review honestly gave me no new insights, nor compelled me to buy the book. Women have sex because it feels good, they want something, and its natural. That's not exactly the reasons that were given, but it just breaks down to that. Which is exactly what I thought in the first place.

The book tries to dress all of this up though. It's based on research over 5 years with information from 1,000 women of various ages and sexual orientations. They even gave 13 different major reasons that appear in greater detail in the book.

Examples are: Mate poaching

"It's still a bad thing to do. But the bottom line is men and women mates poach because a lot of times the good ones are taken up. It is the case that if a good-looking guy has a good looking partner, then he must be doing something right to get this good-looking partner. She's already preselected him, and this in some ways makes him more desirable."

That falls under, it's natural and they want something. The fact that it's natural to be attracted to someone that others find attractive is basic. That's natural selection and been around since cavemen. Wanting what others have is as simple as "keeping up with the Jones'". But this excuse sounds like justification to me.

To Get Closer to God

"It was a dream come true, being with this incredible man. I was able to lose myself and see God, where the edges of the dreamworld and the real world met." Heterosexual woman, age 23"

Again, it's natural and feels good. Obviously very good for this woman.

To Even The Score, and Out of pity and a Want for Power

I combined these 2 as they are the same thing. Here is one quote

"I had sex with a couple of guys because I felt sorry for them. These guys were virgins and I felt bad that they had never had sex before so I had sex with them. I felt like I was doing them a big favor that no one else had ever done. I felt power over them, like they were weaklings under me and I was in control. It boosted my confidence to be the teacher in the situation and made me feel more desirable." Heterosexual woman, age 25"

Simply put, it is the want of something. Revenge, power, whatever.

Perhaps the classic worst reason I have ever heard may be these. I am combining them as they too are the same thing.

For Money, Out of Boredom and Want of a good meal, Because everyone else is doing it

"I only [have sex for money] with my kid's father. Not a prostitute or anything and because I love him but nothing is free in this world." Heterosexual woman, age 32"

That is just sad. It's insulting. And yes it is prostitution. Whether its cash or a meal. But again they all fall under wanting something. Just the really worst things to want, and a poor reflection on women that believe in this - in my male opinion.

Perhaps the only example of why anyone would buy this book is something I have never heard before.

"A lot of women report that the moment of penetration is the most pleasurable aspect of sex," said Buss, who previously published "The Evolution of Desire" about varying cultural attitudes about sex. "Orgasm is certainly up there, it's in the top three, but I don't know if it's the No. 1 physical reason."

Really? I've known many women, in fact all of them, that would differ with this conclusion. But I hardly could argue the point. So that was new to me, but still it falls under feeling good and being natural.

Seriously, a catchy title is the big draw for most things being sold. This book is just that, a title and nothing of real benefit - as I see it. But I didn't read it, and I won't. If any of my female readers do read this, I would love to hear if anything in this book goes beyond what I have concluded. Or if it's worth the money.

Review - Brookwater's Curse - 3.24.2008.1

In between creating 25 blogs for a client in the past few days I had a bit of time to wind down. In that time I became aware of a new author and his first published book. Actually a friend of mine became aware of this, and due to the fantasy nature of the book, I was told about it. It’s about Vampires. But it has a perspective that really has not been addressed before. The lead character is an African American.

The book, Brookwater’s Curse, is a trip through American history via the diary of the titular character, written by Steven Van Patten. We get to experience America through the eyes of one of our Ancestors and his growth in that time. It’s a unique view. And overall is done well.

This is a self-published book. I need to mention this because there are a few edges to the book that are rough. The graphic image on the cover of the book looks a bit cartoonish and might lead some to overlook the book thinking it is something for kids or teens. That would be a mistake. Throughout the book there are points where a historical event, or a new character/species, is mentioned and the fonts change as if there was a hyperlink. And there is the occasional typographical error. All of these things are minor and infrequent issues. None are enough to take you out of the story or breaking the spell that is being woven.

What the reader will get is that Mr. Christian Brookwater was a man born in a horrible time in America that tried his best to endure. His problems were not only the Slavery that existed but his own birthright. And then things go downhill in his life. Until he is “rescued” which leads to even more pain. Brookwater is a man that gains many achievements, and at each crest he tumbles. I really felt bad for him. And then you are lead to his real challenge, which is the issue the book starts with.

I found this book interesting because, like other novels in this genre, there are other monstrous peoples. There are werewolves, rachasas, and ghosts. Each is dealt with and explained in time and with an explanation that flows with the story and makes sense in the world presented.

Let me pause, I hate when a book or movie gives you a world with certain rules – and then breaks them. A quick example is Alien vs. Predator. It sucked, mostly because they broke the rules. The molecular blood that can go through floors of metal did nothing to a woman’s face. People exposed to the Antarctic weather in a t-shirt aren’t cold. And the rule breaking goes on and on. It ruins the story. The best movies and books create a world that has rules and sticks to them, no matter how illogical or fantastic they may be. Like the Lord of the Rings or Blade Runner.

But as I was saying, not only do we get to learn of these other peoples we get to understand other cultures as well. The ancient samurai are as vital to this story as is Harlem, and Africa.

In every step we get to learn of Brookwater as he deals with events in the nation from a unique perspective and an appreciation that is seldom conveyed in other books even in this genre. And as you read through the story you come to understand that it has not been discussed before. That a void has existed, and was completely ignored like the existence of people of color on Friends.

But don’t think that the inclusion, actually emphasis on, people of color is the only asset of this story. It is a well thought out, and researched story. No matter the race of the characters the story would be involving, but the inclusion of race adds an aspect that makes it both unique and accented.

But the book does have problems.

The first 2 chapters are probably the worst of the whole book. It’s rushed and feels forced. The detail and pacing seem rushed. In a few points in the book you want to learn more about an era or event. At others you question other factors. One thought for me came about money. Mr. Brookwater always seems in need of cash, either due to his generosity or his manner in resolving certain situations, and I wonder why he never opened a bank account, as say characters in the Highlander series did. And in certain events the flow of action seems somewhat fuzzy. As I mentioned earlier there are also the typos and font changes.

Perhaps the main issue I have is the end of the story. It doesn’t actually end a trend that is more common these days, and that annoys me. We are literally brought to a conclusion of certain events while leaving a huge vacuum in others. It is obvious that the story will continue in another book, which I look forward to reading. But there is nothing that makes me more annoyed than being invested in the characters and then having to stop just as the major plot is being expanded on.

Of course this is a smart way to launch a second book. As I mentioned, I will get the next book and read that as well. I would expect most who read this first book will want to continue the story. Because I think the investment in the characters is too involving not to continue.

I have avoided discussing any of the specifics of the characters and events in the story for a reason. They are worth reading about. My favorite characters are Christian Brookwater, Lord Tanata, and Melody. I expect them all to have much more emphasis in the next book. The potential is strong for each.

The author of the book, Steven Van Patten, has done a great job of making a world that is fresh and interesting in a genre that has become formulaic. His perspective on the strengths, weaknesses, and personal struggles of the characters is endearing. His style of writing is engrossing and generally quite good. His attention to details of history, and cultures, adds to the depth of the story and its base in reality.

I recommend Brookwater’s Curse to fans of vampires, fantasy, and afrocentric stories. Even if you are not a fan of these, but enjoy reading a good book I would say you should give this a read. And I expect that most of those that read the first book will be glad to hear that the second book is near its publishing date and will be available shortly.

Do let me know your thoughts when you read this.

Reviewing Robin Roberts book From the Heart - 5.21.2007.1

I have recently finished reading the book, From the Heart by Ms. Robin Roberts, and I must say it was quite interesting. The book reads well, its 170 pages having the feel of a warm conversation more than anything else. Ms. Roberts comes off as genuine and caring, her re-telling of tales in her life adding a perspective most books of this genre don’t seem to convey well. At least to me.

Ms. Roberts’s book covers a great deal of her life, from early youth to recent times. The focus includes her life from high school to working at Good Morning America. There may be many Americans, and people across the globe, that might be familiar with Ms. Roberts from her time at ESPN. I can honestly say that I am not one of them. Being a fan of football, golf, and soccer I rarely watch ESPN. Even rarer is the number of times I’ve watched Good Morning America. As a result Ms. Roberts name was unfamiliar to me. Yet once I finished this book I felt as if I knew her for quite some time.


This book is not so much a “how to” book, as Mr. Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich can be, nor would I say the rules are exactly that. Rather this is an understanding being passed on that some may get.

Those that may get the most out of this book might be women, Black White or otherwise. That is not to say that men would feel left out when reading the book, I felt that sections of the chapters were targeted to, and could hold deeper meaning for, a woman reader. To the credit of Ms. Roberts even those sections were enjoyable for me to read. I think a similar statement could be made about sports fans. There are multiple sports events and personages mentioned through the book. While a fan might gain greater impact from them, the casual observer will not be overwhelmed.

Speaking of sports, Ms. Roberts has had a lot of contact with various noted sports figures in addition to celebrities and world renowned individuals. Ms. Roberts has no problem dropping their names either. I will say that though there are several names dropped; most are relevant to what is being discussed. I never felt overwhelmed or distracted by this.

The most prevalent names in the book are not celebrities or athletes though; they are in fact the family of Ms. Roberts. Her connection to her family is obvious and strong. Many of her examples circle around her mother, grandmother, and father. Their influence on her life and choices are apparent.

I want to detract for a moment. Ms. Roberts’s father was one of the Tuskegee Airmen. I have great respect for all military personnel, especially those that served in a war. The Tuskegee Airmen stand out for me though, and I suggest anyone not familiar with them to learn more about of what they did.

Going back to the book, I’ve mentioned I enjoyed it. I consider myself moderately successful and have no lack of self-motivation. So in a manner I lose some of the impact that the book provides. Equally I don’t agree with a few thoughts mentioned. We all have different experiences and goals, so that is to be expected. Of the points I agree with, I feel strongly on them. One such thought is that I think more parents should behave more like Ms. Roberts's, and my own.

So depending on how you live and where you are (internally) Ms. Roberts words may mean more or less to you. Given that I still feel this book should be read.

This is what I think, what do you think?

Ishmael Beah, Muslim mathematics - 2.23.2007.1

So my latest development is almost ready, and thus I will soon be back to my regular schedule of posts. I think everyone will enjoy my latest project, and I am eagerly looking forward to comments on it.

But in the meantime I have noticed that Black History Month has been rather quiet on the news about African Americans. For the entire year this tends to be the time where the most positive news reports and historical facts are presented to the public. Yet, this month seemed to be void of virtually any news.

Perhaps the fact that Mr. James Brown has not been buried for 2 months was not the most positive story, but I think it is news worthy. [If the 2 weeks that Ms. Anna Nicole Smith has not been buried is any example] But there has been little else in the news, not even the usual fluff news items. If the general media can’t find anything positive to say, what will the rest of the year look like, I wonder. Perhaps I have been working to hard though and missed some items. Am I wrong? Have you seem any positive, and hopefully substantive, news out there?

But I did notice somethings that caught my attention. While neither is directly about Black Americans, they do deal with our history and roots. The first deals directly with our past. Though it is well understood that the whole of mathematics as it exists today is a direct result of the introduction of the number 0 by Egyptians to the less civilized peoples in the north Mediterranean (as I recall, correct me if I am wrong). It has been reported that it was this advanced understanding of mathematics that helped create the Pyramids. But Western Society takes many of the claims for further advances in the sciences and mathematics after that time.

Of course this is wrong. And now there is so further vindication. Besides the fact that some of the medical advances that helped reign in the Plague came from the Middle East, there is now evidence that some of designs in Mosques dating back as far as the 1100’s reveal advanced mathematics that were so advanced they weren’t recognized until the 1970’s and only now being fully understood. Only now is it seen how the designs made while Europe was in the Dark Ages, were growing in complexity and reflected advanced knowledge. Nice to see some respect, even if it took a millennium to get it.

On a somber and sobering note is a book that I think may be worth reading. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier seems to be a reminder, to me at least, that for all the problems in America life is not that bad. This is a true story of the life of a man, that as a child lived and fought in a civil war in Sierra Leone. This is the worst kind of life any child could live through. The fact that the civil strife in Africa is often overlooked by American media makes this even more important.

But there is also the fact that Mr. Ishmael Beah has been able to overcome these horrors, to some degree, and has graduated Oberlin College and written this book is a testament to America. I must note that even rap music has had the unforeseen benefit of saving lives of children during the brutal violence, which amazes me.

Starbuck is promoting this book, and more should be said of this story. Not only during Black History Month, but throughout the year. I find it inspirational that Mr. Beah has overcome so much. I find it a wake-up call that he could come to America and achieve so much after living through horrors that do not afflict African Americans. I also find it sad that this had to happen to any child, and that so little about this strife was ever mentioned here.

Drugs, racism, poverty (as Americans consider it), and other ills do exist but they can all be overcome. Life could be so much worse. We could do more. I feel this book could help many understand that. As I said, it’s on my list of books I want to read.

This is what I think, what do you think?