Faye Dunaway vs. Hilary Duff: an unfair fight

Ok, call me slow but I just heard about the Bonnie and Clyde remake. And the blow-up it has created between Faye Dunaway and Hilary Duff. Before I go farther I will say this is like a fight between Muhamad Ali and a crackhead. But before I go there...

First off is my gripe about remakes. It just amazes me how Hollywood is looking backwards more every year we go forward. I really can’t believe that all the screenwriters in Hollywood are that lazy or incompetent. If they are, I don’t understand how they continue to be employed when there are huge numbers of hopefuls waiting to get their chance. Dennis Dortch is one such writer (and he directs) and I can’t see why he isn’t being given a chance at a bigger budget film for a new idea.

But with that said, the execs in Hollywood have decided to butcher (as virtually every remake in the past decade or so has done) yet another good movie. And based on the past ability of Hollywood to capture none of the qualities of the original film (revisioning is the current buzzword – which should mean diarrhea for the eyes) I expect that none of the cast, writers, director or executives have bothered to watch the full film. I’m not sure what you might call the Cliff Notes version of a film, but I would expect that may be all they know of the film.

Thus I am not surprised that Faye Dunaway may have stated that

“Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?”

Honestly they can’t. Because an actress of real talent (not a pop star with lots of exposure) might actually know the original film and want to be inspired by the work of Faye Dunaway. And that just won’t fit with the concept that it can be done better today than the original.

I don’t think even Las Vegas would take odds on this film being better, or Duff being half as good as Dunaway on a day she is ill. The chances of Hilary Duff or the new film getting 1 Oscar nomination, let alone the 10 that the original earned, is right there with Bigfoot walking into Times Square and dancing a jig – if current standards of remakes are exceeded.

In fact, as I had suspected, the new film is a revisioning. It will throw out much of the original film in favor of

“…news clippings of the famous Depression-era outlaws, found in an abandoned house on her family's property.”

Well at least some attempt at research and some level of involvement in the story has been attained.

Of course Duff had to respond.

“I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is." Duff went on to say, "I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too."

What fans? At least Duff was smart enough not to compare her claim to fame, Lizzie McGuire, to anything any other actress has done. But she wasn’t smart enough to realize that Dunaway is 47 years her elder. Nor that Dunaway looks pretty damn good for her age, or that of a woman much younger. The same cannot be said of Duff.

And in case Hilary Duff can’t read, nor bothered to do a Google search she has achieved all of the following:

• Best Performance in a TV Movie or Pilot - Supporting Young Actress - Young Artist Awards
  
• Teenager of the Year – Rolling Stone
  
• Favorite Female Singer - Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards
  
• Best Young Ensemble in a Feature Film - Young Artist Awards
  

Not exactly prestigious. Nor overwhelming.

Faye Dunaway on the other hand:

• Started her career on the stage at age 21. By the time she was 26 she starred in the Oscar winning movie Bonnie and Clyde (which was just her 3rd movie and she gained an Academy Award nomination for the role).
  
  
• She has been in acclaimed movies including - The Thomas Crown Affair (and the remake 21 years later), Little Big Man, The Three Musketeers, Chinatown (another Oscar nomination), The Towering Inferno, Three Days of the Condor (a favorite of mine), and Network (won the Oscar).
  

Simply put, Duff needs to seriously get some acting lessons and experience before she deserves to insult her betters. Especially when they are right.

Movie review: War, Inc

How might I describe the film War, Inc.? Well considering the film is a mash of liberals are great, big business is bad, America is all the evil in the world clichés I’ll try to describe it in that vain.

In terms of a green film (I’m sure someone will coin that phrase any day now) it fails miserably. From the abundance of HUMVEE vehicles used and blown up, to jets the film wastes more energy and leave a bigger carbon footprint than a mid-sized city. If we look at it from an anti-religion aspect, it makes marriage and Muslims look like fools.

Politically, which is the point of the film, every conservative ever to grace a movie or television seems to be used as a prop of corporate greed. And quite a few Presidents (though Abraham Lincoln – a Republican – amazingly was left out), though the real target – President Bush is never named but is referred to.

The American military is made out to be a bunch of redneck, doped up, imbeciles. I think there was all of 1 scene in the film where our military wasn’t bouncing around popping off rounds while rambling to loud music. I was particularly insulted when the movie portrayed American soldiers slaughtering hospital/mental patients.

And of course the blatant greed of America was the central point. That we are like every country in the world is not the point. We are more vile and twisted. Our excesses corrupt every nation and culture – or so the film wants you to believe.

Now I’m not above a satire of our government. I am all for political comments in entertainment form. But at least let me enjoy the film. MASH was a great film and made significant political points, as did Platoon. This film jams those points down your throat so hard as to make you gag. Literally.

I like John Cusack. I like Ben Kingsley, Dan Ackroyd, Marisa Tomei, Montel Williams and others in this film. But in this waste of time they all are misused and, I would like to think in the case of Montel Williams (a former Marine) at least, misled as to the full nature of the film.

Hillary Duff is unbelievable as a young star twisted by the vices surrounding her. She can’t pull off the depth to make you feel bad for her, or even to accept her as a harlot she spends half the film trying to be.

The sudden and supposedly intense relationship between Cusack and Tomei never makes sense. Why he has feelings beyond mere lust (where he starts at) is unknown, as is when he suddenly starts to feel them. Like everything in this film it just doesn’t come together in any cohesive manner.

The humor of the film could fill a teaser trailer. The witty banter, not the verbal noise floating around as dialogue through 98% of this film, usually is spoken by one character in almost always 1 or 2 sentences.

Visually the film is boring, which matches the pace of the film. With all the bombs bursting, and the 3 action sequences, you might start to pay attention to the film which is exactly when it all ends. Even the over extended scenes of the on-going “war” make you yawn.

If anything was done right in this film, and I have to say it’s taken a couple of minutes of thought, it would have to be the opening sequence. Dark, brooding, a surprising bit of action, and foreboding. So after minute maybe 4 the film just deteriorates into a grating experience.

I had high hopes for this film. It’s obvious play on Grosse Point Blank gave me hope it would rise above the polispeak that was a given it would be encompassed in. But like a ship in the Sargasso Sea it was held fast and rotted away.

Let me put it this way, I would rather listen to Al Gore drone on, or have lunch with Senator Clinton, or have front row seats for the entire season of American Idol than see this film again. Stated in a less PC manner I think that having my left testicle cut off would be more fun.

I truly understand why this film has opened to limited theaters, and will unquestionably never recoup its cost. If there was going to be a Grosse Point Blank 2, this film has assassinated its hopes. Seriously don’t even pay for a bootleg copy of this film, watch Gigli or Glitter – you’ll enjoy them more. (ok it’s not that bad, but you get my point)