3-D porn: Coming at you soon

Just yesterday I was talking about how Hollywood was on the verge of a new money gobbling trend, 3-D movies. I spoke about how the extra money that a 3-D movie brings in is too lucrative for movie studios to ignore. But there was something I forgot about.

The porn industry.

Yes, the one industry that outsells Hollywood every year. An industry with more winning films and higher audience count that Avatar will likely ever get to. The only industry that makes billions in profit, yet amazingly no one has ever seen or bought.

Well even in porn the bottom line is money. How to get more bang from an audience. How to plunge into a pocket and pull off a quick money grab. The latest answer is , 3-D.

Tinto Brass, a director best known for the 1979 film Caligula, has announced that he will make the first ever 3-D porn film. The film will deal with Romans and Americans, ever so original an idea. And you won't have to wait too long, he plans to start filming in May or June.

If this porn film gets made, and makes a profit of any amount, it will confirm the new trend. Porn always sets standards for Hollywood. The move from Beta to VHS, porn made the decision Hollywood followed. The move to DVD's, exactly the same. Ditto online movies. No one may want to speak about it, but porn is the Warren Buffett of the entertainment industry. When they make a move, the industry generally follows quickly.

So my guess about 3-D becoming the new craze in movies is even more likely than I first thought. But the concept of a 3-D porn kind of scares me. Don't think on it to hard, but there are many things I can imagine I don't want poking at my eyes. Yet, I am sure, this will make tons of money.

It's a scary world out there.

The Hot d'Or is back

I realize that it's winter and cold in most place across the U.S. Thus few people are thinking about movie awards, except Hollywood executives planing for the Oscars next year. But there is good news to be had, and it happened in France - of course.

After a 9 year hiatus, the Hot d'Or Awards are back. You might have heard of it by its other title, the Golden Hots Awards. Still scratching your head? Ok, its the European version of the AVN porn awards.

That might have perked up some ears.

Yes, having gotten tired of competing with the Cannes Film Festival for years, the Hot d'Or Awards stopped for a time. And now that they are back they have picked a new venue as well. But the questions you want answered have nothing to do with that, right?

The Awards was a somber event. No porn is shown and to all the reports I can find, no one got naked. Still there ws no lack of star power or titilating subjects.

Winning films included: Billionaire,Pirates II, and Ritual.

Best Internet Actress went to Katsuni



and the Best Actress award was won by none other than - Tarra White for her work in Billionaire.



Congratulations to the winners, and to the Hot d'Or for returning after a 8 year absence.

Of course I know that no one has ever seen any of these films, these women, or porn in general. That's why the porn industry makes more money than all of Hollywood every year.

Don't mess with Disney

There are a few things that just can't be done. Or at least not without stirring up the ire of one of the largest and most powerful media companies in the world.

The Walt Disney Company is known for a couple of things. Family animated films is perhaps one of the best know items. And as an example the characters Mickey Mouse, Bambi, and Snow White may be one of the oldest and most widely known of their family films.

But over the years there have been literally hundreds of.. less than family oriented takes on these characters. In fact Snow White has been the subject of more porn revisions than any other topic or subject ever. In fact, as I recall, no film in the world has had more revisionist remakes than Snow White.

Which is likely the insiration for this ad



It's not the Snow White you grew up with.

This version is the child of an ad agency promoting a new beer in Australia. The concept is "Anything but sweet". And the ad is obviously just that. It definitely reflects more on the porn revisions than Disney.

How this sells beer, I'm not quite sure. Condoms sure. Maybe even cigarettes. But beer? I suppose you have to be Australian to get it. (Though I'm surprised none of the characters are in blackface - or is that a line even Australians won't cross much like South Africa in the past)

Obviously Disney isn't happy. The ad is currently pulled from the internet, and next to impossible to find. Though Disney hasn't said anything publicly, there is little doubt they are involved with the sudden disappearance.

I will say this for the ad makers - The Foundry - Ho White and the Serven Dwarves is effective. It caught my attention as well as Disney. It may not sell beer, but it sure will drive attention.

I wonder what will be next?

Mommy XXX

Well now that Jon & Kate Plus 8 has halted production, hopefully forever, there is a void. Millions have suddenly lost their "reality" television drama fix. They are bereft of their ability to feel better at the expense of a marriage and several small children. This will not do.

It won't have to either. Some television executive was reading the tea leaves and came up with a sure-fire attention grabber. Actually I expect that the exec was doing something far different, but I won't describe it.

Thus we now have Mommy XXX. Yes, the "real" lives of a porn star as she raises 2 teen kids. Kids that are fully aware of what mom does for a living, the people in the industry, and newbies hoping to get into the limelight.

If this doesn't create a controversy, I'm scared where television will go next.

But to be honest, I am in a quandry. On the one hand I hate all "reality" television shows. They are the dregs of television creativity. They provide nothing but an opportunity to vegetate in front of a television and then again at work with colleagues.

On the other hand is the fact that the porn industry is being shown in a light that is for once not negative. Not that the taboo of porn has ever hurt its sales. The industry makes more money every year than all the Hollywood studios put together, combined with the sales of GM. Well maybe not GM, but you get my point.

Still my thought is that porn is not the horror that the main media industry makes it out to be. It has real people, doing their jobs, and raising families with the money like any other industry. So a bit of respect is due.

Yet, I don't like the idea that porn will be promoted to young teens. Because in all reality that is the target group. Young boys and 20-something young men. Watching the show to get a hint of titilation without getting labeled as perverts or "dirty".

Presented on Crackle (some kind of internet television I think - I'm sure my younger readers know what it is) the show features women feeling each others breasts - in an episode about breast implants - as an example. The breasts are mostly covered with hearts and smiley faces, but that is more than enough for a hormonal 15 year old. And the message to young women, I can't even begin to imagine.

Plus I can imagine how internet searches for all the various porn stars (especially lead Demi Delia - who has 3000+ web items in just a quick google) will explode. As likely will porn video sales. Which is good for the economy, and the entertainers, but inevitiably will rub the Bible Belt raw. Especially when in one episode that I saw, an actress is promoting working in the industry. I'm sure NOW will love that.

So is this a bad idea? Has television - "reality" television - gone too far?

Yes and no. I doubt that more women will be racing to the doors of the porn industry than already do. Young men likely know all the actresses already (though their moms will assure you they don't). Porn will not corrupt anyone more than they already are. But for the few that might have been on a fence, this will likely push them over the edge. And it's not exactly family entertainment. Plus it still is as vacuous as any other "reality" program.

Thus I bet this will become the new controversy. It has everything that the tabloids and executives could hope for. Water cooler conversations will never be the same.

And after contemplation, I decided to include the episode I was speaking about above. Thus you can draw your own conclusions based on the show itself. Not everyone will agree with my decision, but so be it.

And as a side note, I agree with the son.

Bailout bill HR 3597

After days of searching I finally found it. This was probably the funniest part of the entire Guy's Choice Awards on Sunday. The video clip was very hard to find, which I thought was amazing in itself.

But after having 2 computers blow up (thank you Windows Vista) and spending more time on this than it deserves, I can now present you with the only bailout that the Obama Administration won't publicly support. Though I bet he would enjoy being in charge of that industry.



But lest a political freak out there (like me) starts searching the net for this Bill, missing the joke, let me help out. This is not a real Bill before Congress.

Of course, according to the Obama Administration proposal, The Secertary of Treasury could take over the porn industry under the "significant ecomomic impact" clause. That is real.

And it would be a sad day when Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are in charge of what kind of porn gets made. I shudder to think of it.